Have any questions or comments related to sex or sexuality? If so, fire away.
Meghalaya: home to two matrilineal tribes.
From Aljazeera:
Meghalaya: Where women call the shots Many Indian women cry out for equality, but a matrilineal culture thrives with little parallel in the northeast. by Subir Bhaumik
Shillong, India - In a far corner of India, a country where women usually cry out for equality, respect and protection, there's a state where men are asking for more rights.
Meghalaya - "Home of Clouds" - is picturesque state with its capital Shillong a regional hub for education and the trend-setter for the Westernised culture that's accepted by most tribes in the country's northeast.
The two major tribes of Meghalaya, Khasis and Jaintias, are matrilineal with a vengeance. Children take the mother's surname, daughters inherit the family property with the youngest getting the lion's share, and most businesses are run by women.
Known as the "Khatduh", the youngest daughter anchors the family, looking after elderly parents, giving shelter and care to unmarried brothers and sisters, and watching over property.
The Khasi Social Custom of Lineage Act protects the matrilineal structure.
Some trace the origins of the system to Khasi and Jaintia kings, who preferred to entrust the household to their queens when they went to battle. This custom has continued to provide women the pride of place in the tribal society.
"Matriliny safeguards women from social ostracism when they remarry because their children, no matter who the father was, would be known by the mother's clan name. Even if a woman delivered a child out of wedlock, which is quite common, there is no social stigma attached to the woman in our society," says Patricia Mukhim, a national award-winning social activist who edits the Shillong Times newspaper.
Mukhim says her society will not succumb to the dominant patriarchial system in most of India.
"We have interfaced with several cultures and our women have married people from other Indian provinces and from outside India. But very few Khasi women have given up their culture," says Mukhim. "Most have transmitted the culture to their children born out of wedlock with non-Khasis."
Anirban Roy, a Bengali married to a Jaintia woman whom he met as a fellow student in a veterinary college, says he faced no problem adjusting to the matrilineal culture of his wife's family.
"Everyone in the wife's clan made it a point to come and introduce themselves, and invite me to their houses either for lunch or dinner to know each other better. Whenever we face a problem, the members of my wife's clan rushed to our help," said Roy. "As a groom, I enjoyed great respect and privilege."
Read the rest here.
New research: Mapping human migration patterns following strains of herpes.
From the Huffington Post:
Herpes Study Confirms Human Migration Patterns (MAP)
What can cold sores tell us about the "out of Africa" theory of human migration? More than you might imagine.
While the theory that early humans migrated from Africa to other continents is widely accepted among scientists, the evidence to support it has been limited. So a team of researchers from the University of Wisconsin sought to confirm it by looking at the spread of a particular strain of the herpes virus along the presumed migration routes. The scientists hoped that by studying herpes simplex virus 1 (HSV-1) -- the common strain that causes cold sores -- they could draw key conclusions about how, specifically, human populations dispersed.
The theory holds that humans originated in Africa 150,000 to 200,000 years ago before slowly dispersing to Australia and the Middle East and, eventually, around the globe.
"What we found follows exactly what the anthropologists have told us, and the molecular geneticists, who have analyzed the human genome have told us, about where humans originated and how they spread across the planet," Dr. Curtis Brandt, a professor of medical microbiology and ophthalmology at the university and senior author of the new study, said in a written statement.
For their study, Brandt and his team compared 31 genomic sequences of HSV-1. The researchers focused on mutation patterns within the genome sequences -- derived from data collected in North America, Europe, Africa and Asia -- in order to isolate specific clades, or branches, of ancestors and their descendants.
In the HSV-1 research, Brandt and the team noticed that similar strains of the herpes virus are clustered in distinct geographical regions. For example, strains in Africa are clustered together, while viruses derived from far east Asia, including China, Korea and Japan, share certain commonalities.
Aside from confirming what was already known, the study shed new light on specific aspects of human migration. Though viruses in Europe and America were clustered together, there was one exception: a North American strain in Texas that shares similarities with strains derived from east Asia.
While the exception could just be chalked up to recent travel between the state and Asia, researchers speculate it also supports the hypothesis that native Americans once crossed a "land bridge" to North America.
"We found support for the land bridge hypothesis because the date of divergence from its most recent Asian ancestor was about 15,000 years ago," Brandt said in the statement. "The dates match, so we postulate that this was an Amerindian virus."
The findings also support conclusions reached by scientists who have used DNA samples to provide evidence for the human migration patterns under the "out of Africa" theory.
British rowers get naked to fight homophobia.
From Buzzfeed:
British Rowing Team Strips Down Once Again To Fight Homophobia
It’s a beautiful day for fighting bullies.
Say hello to the fine gentlemen of the Warwick University Rowing Club. On most days, they’re just your average fine British rowing men.
[…]
Since 2009, the rowing team has stripped down for the Warwick Rowing Naked Calendar, donating a portion of the proceeds to their charity, Sport Allies, which fights homophobia and bullying. According to the project, “Sport Allies is dedicated to challenging homophobia among young people. The rowers are predominantly straight men who have welcomed and embraced the fantastic support they have had from the gay community for their fundraising efforts. Sport Allies is their way of honoring that support and giving something back.”
[…]
You can watch the entire promo video here, follow them on Twitter and Facebook, and, of course, grab a calendar at WarwickRowers.org.
See the rest of the photos here (NSFWish). And the video (also NSFWish):
Makeup.
From ViralNova:
Vadim Andreev is a 29 year-old makeup artist from St. Petersburg, Russia, who has been honing his skill since the age of 16. He has become so talented at his craft, he proves that almost any woman can be as beautiful as a model if she really wants to. All it takes is some well-applied makeup.
But it’s important to note that this kind of beauty is superficial. There’s nothing wrong with emphasizing our natural beauty, but some girls out there are depressed because they can’t achieve what the magazines say true beauty is. Here’s a wake-up call to show you what these women really look like.
Vadim’s goal is to prove to women that they don’t need harmful surgery in order to transform into beauties. With the right makeup and hair, any woman can look like a model. They just have to play to their strengths. Knowing a few makeup tips wouldn’t hurt, either.
Vadim is only 29, but he has been perfecting his skills as a makeup artist for 13 years. He has worked with Russian celebrities, but he also loves to help every day clients. He prepares women for events or weddings, showing them what beauty they all possess. He even passes on his knowledge with workshops and how-to videos. What he knows isn’t magic. Anyone can learn how to transform themselves into a stunning beauty. It might just take some practice.
Of course the real story here is that superficial beauty is just that – superficial. Any woman can have it, but it’s what’s on the inside that truly sets you apart.
See the rest of the photos here.
Art: Gay student to lose virginity in live performance.
From Vice:
By Dan Wilkinson
Virginity generally tends to be a big deal for most people. Presumably because society dictates that, pre-sex, you are a hairless fawn crawling your way through the embarrassing undergrowth of training bras and stealth wanking, and post-sex you're fully grown with a comprehensive understanding of D'Angelo's discography and the right to drink triple sec next to swimming pools. But then society is notoriously mean and ill informed and probably doesn't even know what it's talking about.
In a bid to understand where the obsession and scrutiny of virginity comes from, my friend Clayton Pettet has decided to lose his flower in front of a crowd next year as part of his St Martins art project, titled "Art School Took My Virginity". He told me that some tabloid journalists had been sniffing around the story, so I thought I'd give him a call before they got their noses in the trough.
VICE: Hey man. So, I hear you're being hounded by the press?Clayton Pettet: Yeah, I just spoke to this journalist and it was so weird – it feels like the national papers that are asking about the project want to get the best angle and rip it apart. It’s crazy. It’s not something I’m used to, watching everything I say with caution.
But you must have expected something like this would happen, right? I don’t really mind what they say about me, as long as it's their words. I don’t want them to twist mine. But it brings discussion, and whether it's making people angry, excited or confused, it’s bringing forth emotion about art. Which is something we’ve lost.
You think? People say that everything has been done already, but I don’t think that’s true. If you think hard enough, there's shit that only you could think of – something so buried inside of you that, if you let yourself, you'd be able to just to throw up onto a canvas and let your mind do the rest.
Fair enough. When did you first get the idea? Since I was about 16 years old, the whole idea of virginity has been overwhelming to me. I started to think about why it meant so much, and was [the meaning] actually real. So, from then until I started art school, I was constantly thinking, 'What If I desensitised the whole concept of virginity by losing mine as a performance art piece?' Because that’s what virginity is to me – a performance that has been used to value women, a heteronormative term that is constantly used to work out someone’s worth. My piece is also like one big study and investigation; has anything changed after penetration? Does it all actually matter?
For me, losing my virginity was vital. Do you think it's more hyped up from a male perspective? Yes, definitely. It's just a hyped up thing in general. It's used more as an insult to still have your virginity now, but it’s always been a negative thing and always meant so much more than it should. I feel if I was a girl losing my virginity for this piece, people would be way more angry. Which is exactly my point. Virginity is used to dictate your worth depending on which gender you are.
So you're saying sex isn’t important? Sex is important, and as a first experience it will always be remembered. But it shouldn’t be remembered as the loss of virginity. But maybe I’m completely wrong, which is why I’m doing a piece. It's about self-discovery more than anything.
How come you haven't lost it already? I don’t know... I think it took a lot of time to discover what I was actually into, sexually. I was so obsessed with losing it that I never got around to actually meeting someone to do it with.
Really? Well, there were times when I could have had sex. But it always felt like something was there stopping me. But I've realised this is how I want to do it. I want to lose it for art and I want to lose it for change.
Read the rest of the interview here.
The Girl: A life in the shadow of Roman Polanski
From the CBC:
In 1977, 13-year-old Samantha Geimer was sexually assaulted by movie director Roman Polanski. The case dominated the headlines. But mystery surrounded the circumstances of that day and the girl at the centre of it all. Now, more than 35 years later, Samantha Geimer breaks her silence in her new memoir, The Girl.
Roman Polanski is an artistic genius to some, a sad widower to others and a constant reminder of a terrible crime to a woman who believes he took advantage of a little girl's dream of fame.
Roman Polanski, the eighty-year old Academy Award winning filmmaker is acclaimed for his films -- but there is that conviction of unlawful sex with a minor from 1977.
Samantha Geimer was just 13 years old when she found herself at the centre of the turmoil. She's spent much of her life trying to avoid the media.
But three and half decades later Ms. Geimer decided she would come forward with her own account of the assault and its repercussion. Her book is titled The Girl: A life in the shadow of Roman Polanski.
Samantha Geimer was in Las Vegas, Nevada.
The link to the podcast is here.
Sexism ads.
From AdWeek:
Powerful Ads Use Real Google Searches to Show the Scope of Sexism Worldwide Simple visual for inequality By David Griner
Here's a simple and powerful campaign idea from UN Women using real suggested search terms from Google's autocomplete feature. Campaign creator Christopher Hunt, head of art for Ogilvy & Mather Dubai, offers this summary: “This campaign uses the world's most popular search engine (Google) to show how gender inequality is a worldwide problem. The adverts show the results of genuine searches, highlighting popular opinions across the world wide web.” Each ad's fine print says "actual Google search on 09/03/13." While Google users in different countries are likely to get different results, a quick test shows that several of these suggested terms definitely come up in U.S. searches. Since its creation, autocomplete has become a popular device for social debate and even inspired a recent epic visual from xkcd, but these ads do a stellar job driving home the daunting fact that enough people around the world share these vile opinions that Google has come to expect them. Check out all the design versions after the jump. Via Design Taxi.
UPDATE: After the viral success of these ads since this posting, the creators tell AdFreak they plan to expand the campaign. Check out our follow-up Q&A with the team behind the ads.
See the rest of the ads, and check out the discussion, here. And try conducting the same searches yourself; then try with "men", rather than "women."
A feeder-gainer couple.
From the Daily Mail:
'I force-feed myself 5,000 calories a day through a funnel': Meet the 23-year-old desperate to reach 30st - so that men with a fat fetish will PAY to watch her eat
- Tammy Jung, 23, is increasing her weight by over 3st every 6 months
- She currently weighs 16st - halfway to her goal weight of 30st
- She spends £70 a day on takeaways
- Encourages her boyfriend to pour milkshakes down her throat with a funnel
- Already earns £1,000 a month online, some people pay to watch her eating
Lots of young women are thinking about gym visits or diets right now to prepare their bikini bodies for the summer months ahead.
But one 23-year-old is doing the complete opposite and force feeding herself - often through a funnel - in a bid to become as fat as possible.
Tammy Jung was once a healthy eight-stone teenager who wore skinny jeans, loved playing volleyball and going out with friends.
But in a bizarre reversal of a crash diet, Tammy has decided that she wants to put on a lot of weight as quickly as possible, and spends her days indoors eating buckets of fried chicken, boxes of doughnuts and whole blocks of cheese.
She even allows boyfriend Johan Ubermen, 28, to pour ice cream milkshakes down her throat in an attempt to ingest 5,000 calories a day.
Tammy's frightening diet has seen her weight soar by over 3st every six months, and she now weighs over 16st - just over halfway to her goal weight.
The once svelte young woman is piling on the pounds to earn money as a Big Beautiful Woman on internet websites and hopes to one day top 30st.
Tammy, who already has fat-loving male fans from around the world, has been warned she is putting her health at risk and shortening her life.
But the determined young 'gainer' celebrates every pound she adds and insists she doesn't care about damaging her body.
She said: 'I've never been happier than I am working to put on weight - nothing will stop me achieving my dream.
'I know it's controversial but it's no one else's business - eating makes me happy.
'I'm making lots of money doing what I love - and I want to make even more.
'As far as I'm concerned there is no such thing as too big.'
Aided by her 'feeder' boyfriend Johan, Tammy's daily diet includes up to 30 doughnuts as well as stacks of pancakes and waffles.
The couple can spend up to £70 a day on takeaways and junk food to fuel Tammy's mammothappetite.
Tammy said: 'I start the day with a huge breakfast of waffles, cream cheese, bacon and sausage then head to McDonalds for a few burgers in the afternoon.
'I can snack on cheese all day, a couple of blocks is no problem, then for dinner I'll either eat pizzas or make Mexican food.
'At the end of the day I make a weight gain shake from heavy whipped cream and a whole tub of ice cream, which Yohan feeds me through a funnel.
'The funnel forces me to drink the shake even when I'm full after a day of eating.'
As a teenager, Tammy played volley ball and football and weighed a healthy eight stone, but felt insecure despite her healthy frame.
She said: 'I used to be self-conscious about my appearance. I always thought I was fat and had low self esteem.
'After I gave up sports, I began putting on weight. At first I was in denial. But one day I looked in the mirror and realised I was fat - and I felt great about it.
'My body looks so sexy and I feel more womanly the heavier I get.'
With a Body Mass Index (BMI) of 45, 5ft 2" Tammy is almost twice the average for a woman her size.
Tammy even films herself eating on camera for her army of online fans.
She said: 'I get a lot of requests to eat and weigh myself on camera. Some guys even send me scripts so I know what to say.
'I can make up to £1,000 a month if I work at it, and I'm hoping to earn more the bigger I get.'
Johan, her boyfriend of eight months, doesn't worry about the attention from other men.
He said: 'I noticed early on that she really likes to eat and was eating more than me when we went for dinner - I was impressed.
'I would love her no matter what she looked like.'
Incredibly, Tammy's family have no idea what she does for a living - or that her weight gain is deliberate.
She said: 'My family have noticed that I am putting on weight but they still don't know I'm doing it on purpose.
'They probably wouldn't agree with it but I'm making a living and supporting myself.'
Dr Claude Matar, of the Pasadena Weight Loss Center, said: 'It's very straightforward, she is causing her life to be shorter. She is taking the risk of dying early.'
See the rest of the photos here.
And the corresponding video:
Thursday Mail - October 24th.
Have any questions or comments related to sex and sexuality? If so, fire away.
Science: The world's most attractive face?
in Attraction
From Design Taxi:
The World’s Scientifically Most Beautiful Woman?
By Anthea Quay
UK-based 18-year-old student Florence Colgate has the most naturally perfect face, according to British lifestyle and entertainment show ‘Lorraine’.
According to The Daily Mail, a woman’s face is said to be most attractive when the distance between her pupils is just under half of the distance between her ears. Colgate scored a 44% ratio.
The distance between a woman’s eyes and mouth should be just over one-third the measurement of her hairline to chin. Colgate scored a 32.8% ratio.
“Florence has all the classic signs of beauty,” Carmen Lefèvre, of The Perception Lab at the University of St Andrews’ School of Psychology, told The Daily Mail. “She has large eyes, high cheekbones, full lips and a fair complexion. Symmetry appears to be a very important cue to attractiveness.”
“Although we don’t realize it in everyday interactions, in most people’s faces the right and left half are actually quite different.”
The blue-eyed blonde—who’s currently studying ‘A’-levels at the Dover Grammar School, and works part-time at a seaside chip shop in Deal, Kent—has never had any plastic surgery or chemical enhancements, and normally wears only light foundation, mascara, concealer.
For the natural beauty contest ‘Lorraine: Naked’ (where no make-up or cosmetic enhancements of any kind were allowed), Colgate won a trip to a London model agency and will be featured on billboards and posters in beauty and health retailer Superdrug stores.
Colgate told The Daily Mail that she would love to have a career in modelling but “is currently studying business, geography and psychology, and intends to do business management at university.”
“Women should not have to feel that they have to wear makeup,” Colgate said. “I hope people will look at me and think they don’t need to. I’m very happy with the way I look and I would never have any plastic surgery or Botox.”
Can science define beauty, in your opinion?
See more photos here.
MAC Cosmetics' Strength campaign.
Earlier this year, MAC Cosmetics released Strength, a new marketing campaign featuring a woman named Jelena Abbou. Ms. Abbou is a figure competitor (similar to bodybuilding, but less emphasis on being huge) and as such is much more muscular that your typical model. MAC has been receiving tons of positive feedback about their choice to feature her.
From Jezebel:
MAC Put A Female Bodybuilder In A Makeup Ad And It’s Beautiful
When I first saw this ad for MAC's new "Strength" collection, it kind of stopped my in my browsing tracks. What an incredible figure that woman has — and what a striking image for a mainstream cosmetics brand to choose as an advertisement.
The woman in the photo is named Jelena Abbou. She is a Serbian-American competitive body builder and fitness model, and she is fucking impressive to look at. I really like seeing her in a makeup ad. Hers is a body that is so different from the usual physical ideal that is shoved down women's throats — the slim, uniformly "toned" but not muscular, waifish model body that we see in every other ad and magazine and T.V. show aimed at women. There's a pretty strong social stigma against women who are "too" muscular, as Samantha Escobar explainsaptly here:
We all know that our society often fat shames people they deem overweight and sometimes body shame those declared too thin, but many men and women consider very muscular women to be "gross" or "unappealing." I find this strange, since — while I don't remotely condone it — fat and thin shamers tend to at least cite health as a typical reason for being assholes. When it comes to insulting muscular females, this logic makes no sense; typically, those women work out frequently and eat incredibly well in order to achieve the bodies they have. Why insult them?
Well-developed muscles are the embodiment of strength, and our culture doesn't value physical strength in women. It might even be a little suspicious of it. A man with a six-pack is supposed to be sexy; a woman with a six-pack is supposed to be "mannish." That stigma is why it's so shocking to see Abbou in a cosmetics ad: she's styled and photographed in a way that glamourizes her and highlights her beauty and her femininity, but the ad also does not camouflage or attempt to minimize her incredible body. (Which is the usual treatment that athletes, particularly female athletes, get in fashion photography — for reference, just consider any time Vogue picks a lovely, slender, female athlete to be in a fashion spread.) In fact, Abbou's muscular arms are the focus of this picture. That's what makes this ad so striking, and so incredibly beautiful.
Here's the copy from MAC that goes with the campaign:
I am a women: fearless, elegant, strong. We love women who strike powerful poses, stand out, redefine the notion of beauty…and do it with an inner/outer strength that’s irresistible and impossible to ignore. Colour is a vehicle for a women to flex their femininity and MAC’s New collection reflects this state of mind and style. It starts with dramatic eyes defined by two Eye Shadow Quads that sculpt and highlight, precision Penultimate Eye-Liner and extra-volumizing Opulash. Lips plump up with vivid colour to project power while Powder Blush in Natural Tones softly chisels cheeks. And, nailing it for overall presentation, MAC’s High Gloss Nail Lacquer.
While I think it's fantastic that MAC has chosen a very obviously muscular woman as the face of their new campaign (and she is very attractive), there's something about it that also bugs me. Perhaps it's the insidious nature of this type of advertising - i.e., MAC is trying to win customers over by appearing progressive, while still promoting a very specific beauty ideal. Or perhaps it's because it's MAC, a company that depends on vanity to make money (not that we're not all vain, mind you). Maybe it's also that Ms. Abbous fake breasts also seem to contradict the idea being promoted here - i.e., that there is more than one beauty ideal. Or possibly it's the fact that Ms. Abbou is still conventionally very beautiful, despite being muscular. Or maybe I'm just full of beans. Feel free to tell me so.
Here's a video clip of Ms. Abbou in action:
The Nu Project.
Passed along by Madeline a couple of years ago (thanks!).
From the homepage (NSFW link):
Thank you for being here. The Nu Project is a series of honest nudes of normal women from all over the world. The project began in 2005 and has stayed true to the original vision: no professional models, minimal makeup and no glamour. The focus of the project has been and continues to be the subjects and their personalities, spaces, insecurities and quirks.
To date, over 100 women across North and South America have participated in the project. Without their courage, confidence and trust, none of this would have been possible. We are so thankful for their willingness to open their homes to us.
They're always looking for women to participate: link.
Ideal women sizes.
in Attraction
Carlin Ross at Betty Dodson with Carlin Ross:
Inspired by Jenn's "apple body" post, I was googling around for the latest research on body image. There was been a quantifiable shift in body preference reinforced my images in the media. Today, women strive for the tubular body type. That's the boyish, athletic Betheny Frankel look (I'm not criticizing Betheny just giving an example).
Here's where the mind fuck comes in. While the preferred body aesthetic is skinny minny, we are in fact curvier than ever:
"In recent years, women's body sizes have grown larger (Spitzer, Henderson, & Zivian, 1999), while societal standards of body shape have become much thinner. This discrepancy has made it increasingly difficult for most women to achieve the current sociocultural "ideal." Such a standard of perfection is unrealistic and even dangerous. Many of the models shown on television, advertisements, and in other forms of popular media are approximately 20% below ideal body weight, thus meeting the diagnostic criteria for anorexia nervosa (Dittmar & Howard, 2004)."
As a young girl, the supermodels of my era were Cindy Crawford and Christy Turlington - women with curves and healthy figures. I can't imagine growing up now with the pressure to be 20% underweight. The worst part of it all is that it's not what others find attractive. The average person prefers a woman who's a size 12.
God forbid if you enjoy a meal or eat a piece of cake. The tubular body shape is not womanly. Curves connote fertility that's why men love curves. It's like denying biology...and for what?
More PostSecrets.
in Humour Etc.
Many more here.
Account of sexual assault in the Ubyssey.
TRIGGER WARNING FOR SEXUAL ASSAULT.
The piece is particularly striking, as we rarely hear about the experiences of those who are sexually assaulted. Much respect to this woman for sharing her story and insight. From the Ubyssey:
I was sexually assaulted on campus, and this is my story
I entered “UBC sexual assault” into the Google search bar.
“UBC student assaulted on campus.”
“Sex assault at UBC sparks police warning.”
“RCMP looking for suspect after second assault at UBC.”
Reading the online headlines was when it hit me. Those articles were talking about me — I was now a news story.
I am telling my story so that “the second sexual assault” can start being seen as what it should be: a warning, and a hard-knock glimpse into a serious reality on our campus.
I arrived home at Fairview Crescent late a week ago. As I got to the door, I turned around to fetch my keys from my bag and saw a man standing behind me.
Call me naive, but I actually waved and was about to wish him a good night — I thought he was a neighbour I’d yet to meet, or another student waiting to get inside. It never occurred to me that he intended to harm me.
If you want to know what happened after that, you can read one of the dozens of news stories published about the attack. I know I have. I’ve been forced to relive the attack over and over again as friends and family, unaware that it was me who was attacked, send me news story after news story about the attack.
An attack like this one is personal. I feel violated as I walk around campus overhearing conversations about “that girl who was attacked,” or sitting in class within earshot of classmates discussing my attack.
Imagine sitting in class and having the professor bring up your sexual assault. I wanted to stand up at say, “Yo, this is my story. Who are you to talk about how I could have prevented this? Don’t I have the right to walk home alone?”
What nobody seems to understand, and no newspaper article has so far reflected, is how your perspective changes following something like this; how you become angry. Every time I see myself referred to as a victim, I get angry. I was attacked, but I am OK, or I will be. The connotations surrounding the word “victim” make me feel weak, and suggest that somehow this man will stop me from being me. It makes me see myself as a weak, Cinderella-esque character, dependent on others.
I have never been that woman and I never will be.
It makes me angry that we don’t live in a society where I can walk home free from fear. Instead, I have to fear men because I am a woman. Instead of ending rape culture, we perpetuate it through television, through music and through our own words.
“Dude, I totally raped that midterm.”
Dude, I’m pretty sure that’s not what you did.
Despite the anger, the best I can do now is adapt. This happened to me, and it could happen to anyone reading this. Please do not let your friends walk alone at night. Please. Please. Please.
I am OK, but it doesn’t mean the woman after me will be, or the woman after her.
Young people in Japan losing interest in sex?
From the Guardian:
Why have young people in Japan stopped having sex? What happens to a country when its young people stop having sex? Japan is finding out… Abigail Haworth investigates.
Ai Aoyama is a sex and relationship counsellor who works out of her narrow three-storey home on a Tokyo back street. Her first name means "love" in Japanese, and is a keepsake from her earlier days as a professional dominatrix. Back then, about 15 years ago, she was Queen Ai, or Queen Love, and she did "all the usual things" like tying people up and dripping hot wax on their nipples. Her work today, she says, is far more challenging. Aoyama, 52, is trying to cure what Japan's media callssekkusu shinai shokogun, or "celibacy syndrome".
Japan's under-40s appear to be losing interest in conventional relationships. Millions aren't even dating, and increasing numbers can't be bothered with sex. For their government, "celibacy syndrome" is part of a looming national catastrophe. Japan already has one of the world's lowest birth rates. Its population of 126 million, which has been shrinking for the past decade, is projected to plunge a further one-third by 2060. Aoyama believes the country is experiencing "a flight from human intimacy" – and it's partly the government's fault.
The sign outside her building says "Clinic". She greets me in yoga pants and fluffy animal slippers, cradling a Pekingese dog whom she introduces as Marilyn Monroe. In her business pamphlet, she offers up the gloriously random confidence that she visited North Korea in the 1990s and squeezed the testicles of a top army general. It doesn't say whether she was invited there specifically for that purpose, but the message to her clients is clear: she doesn't judge.
Inside, she takes me upstairs to her "relaxation room" – a bedroom with no furniture except a double futon. "It will be quiet in here," she says. Aoyama's first task with most of her clients is encouraging them "to stop apologising for their own physical existence".
The number of single people has reached a record high. A survey in 2011 found that 61% of unmarried men and 49% of women aged 18-34were not in any kind of romantic relationship, a rise of almost 10% from five years earlier. Another study found that a third of people under 30had never dated at all. (There are no figures for same-sex relationships.) Although there has long been a pragmatic separation of love and sex in Japan – a country mostly free of religious morals – sex fares no better. A survey earlier this year by the Japan Family Planning Association (JFPA) found that 45% of women aged 16-24 "were not interested in or despised sexual contact". More than a quarter of men felt the same way.
Read the rest here.
Vice: Boyfriends for Hire in Japan.
From Vice:
In Japan, it's not uncommon for successful women to pay attractive young men huge sums of money for a few cocktails and an hour of platonic companionship. VICE in conjunction with Schweppes sends correspondent Joel Cornell to Shibuya to explore this strange world and to find out if he can cut it as a professional boyfriend for hire.
The average man.
in Attraction, Body Image
From The Atlantic:
This Is the Average Man's Body Graphic renderings of modern males by James Hamblin
Todd is the most typical of American men. His proportions are based on averages from CDC anthropometric data. As a U.S. male age 30 to 39, his body mass index (BMI) is 29; just one shy of the medical definition of obese. At five-feet-nine-inches tall, his waist is 39 inches.
Don't let the hyperrealistic toes fool you; Todd is an avatar. I gave Todd his name, and gave his life a narrative arc, but he is actually the child of graphic artist Nickolay Lamm as part of his Body Measurement Project.
Todd would prefer perfection—or at least something superlative, even if it's bad—to being average. But Todd is perfect only in being average. With this perfection comes the privilege of radical singularity, which is visible in his eyes.
Though in his face this reads lonesome, Todd does have three international guyfriends. They met at a convention for people with perfectly average bodies, where each won the award for most average body in their respective country: U.S., Japan, Netherlands, and France. The others' BMIs, based on data from each country's national health centers, are 23.7, 25.2, and 25.6.
Read the rest and see the other images and infographics here.
Men on why vaginas are important.
Description:
Connecticut College has participated in V-Day, the global activist movement to end violence against women and girls for 11 years, hosting productions of "The Vagina Monologues" on campus to raise awareness and funds. Through these benefits performances, we have donated $65,922 to local anti violence organizations. This year, I reached out to men as part of V-Day's One Billion Rising For Justice campaign.
www.onebillionrising.org
A Call To Action: As Producer of the 2014 Connecticut College Vaginas Monologues, I asked 100 men "Why are vaginas important to you?" to raise awareness for The Connecticut College Vagina Monologues, Domestic Violence Awareness Month and Sexual Assault Awareness Month.