A clever new ad from HBO (NSFW language!):
Thursday mail - September 12.
Have any questions or comments related to sex or sexuality? If so, fire away.
The vulva.
From Dr. Lindsey Doe:
Documentary: Virgin Tales.
The second of two documentaries posted today on purity balls, this one from the CBC (link to the full documentary at the bottom of this post):
There is a second sexual revolution growing in the heart of the American Evangelical Christian community. Young girls are promising to remain virgins in lavish ceremonies led by their fathers. So called “Purity balls” were created by the Wilson family, led by father Randy a deeply conservative Christian who works for the politically powerful Family Research Council. Randy and his wife Lisa homeschooled their 7 children and raised them to believe men are warriors and women are wives. Filmmaker Mirjam von Arx followed the family for 2 years and produced a fascinating portrait of how the religious right is grooming a young generation of Virgins to embody an Evangelically-grounded Utopia in America. Today one in eight girls in the United States vows to remain “unsoiled.”
In western nations in particular, the virginity movement is experiencing an outright boom in popularity, with an estimated 5,000 of these balls held in 48 states across the U.S. Evangelists who form the core of this movement already make up a quarter of the U.S. population and are a powerful constituency within the Republican Party, whether they vote or instead, sit at home, could decide who wins the U.S. Presidency in November. The Wilsons believe their duties include getting a Republican into the white House and ensuring their daughters remain virgins until marriage to a young man of their choosing.
Virgin Tales is a deeply engaging film that illuminates the complicated intersection of personal and political power in modern day America.
Directed and produced by Mirjam von Arx, written by Mirjam von Arx and Michele Wannaz for Ican Films. Read more on the official film website.
You can watch the full documentary here (it's excellent!).
Frosh week gone wrong redux: UBC.
From the CBC:
UBC investigates frosh students' pro-rape chant Chant condoned non-consensual sex with underage girls
The University of British Columbia has pledged an investigation after its students reportedly sang a chant advocating rape during frosh week.
The incident took place on a bus ride during the Sauder FROSH, a three-day orientation for the Sauder School of Business, organized by the Commerce Undergraduate Society (CUS).
The chant condones non-consensual sex with underage girls saying, "Y-O-U-N-G at UBC, we like 'em young, Y is for your sister, O is for oh so tight, U is for underage, N is for no consent, G is for go to jail."
Business student Vaibhab Verma was on the bus at the time and said he chose not to think about it.
"I listened to it and kind of ignored the chant, because for some people it was a bit vulgar," he said.
"If you don't feel like doing the chants, you can just ignore them and that's what I did."
Robert Helsley, dean of the Sauder School of Business, condemned the cheer.
"This is a deeply, deeply troubling event and one that we take very seriously...and we will take steps to ensure that nothing like this happens at UBC again," he told the CBC.
Helsley previously issued a joint statement with Louise Cowin, UBC vice-president for students, saying the chant is of grave concern to all members of the UBC community.
"Such behaviour would be completely inconsistent with the values of UBC and the Sauder School of Business and completely inconsistent with the instruction that the Commerce Undergraduate Society receives on appropriate conduct prior to FROSH," the statement said.
Read the rest and see the corresponding news clip here.
Bubble tea ad.
A Thai ad for bubble tea, via Reddit:
New show: Masters of Sex.
Showtime will be featuring a new series about Masters and Johnson starting this fall! They cast some excellent actors - hopefully the writing is good, too.
The homepage for the show: link.
Here's the trailer for the series:
Frosh week gone way wrong.
in Attitudes
From the CBC:
Saint Mary's frosh sex chant sparks review 'My colleagues and I were shocked by this incident,' Halifax university's head says
Saint Mary's University says it will conduct a special review to find out why student leaders were chanting about non-consensual underage sex in a video captured during frosh week at the Halifax school.
St. Mary's president Colin Dodds said the behaviour of the students is inexcusable.
In a video posted online, the students used the word "young" as an acronym in a chant that included the lines: “Y is for your sister […] U is for underage, N is for no consent […] Saint Mary’s boys we like them young.”
Dodds said in a statement: "My colleagues and I were shocked by this incident and are deeply sorry that our students, and now the community at large, were exposed to disturbing sexually charged material."
Dodds said he is forming a presidential council to investigate the incident and ways to prevent any other situations.
Meanwhile, the video drew harsh criticism Thursday from university students and health advocates.
Jared Perry, chair of Students Nova Scotia, stepped down from his position in light of the controversy. Perry is also the president of the student council at Saint Mary's.
"There is not, and has never been, any place for this sort of culture on our university campuses," said Jonathan Williams, executive director of Students Nova Scotia. "While the SMU students involved surely failed to grasp the severity of what they were doing and saying, this very fact highlights the need to speak out about sexism when we see it."
Read the rest here. More here.
And the video:
Thursday mail - September 5.
Have any questions or comments related to sex and sexuality? If so, fire away.
Sexed-up culinary school ads.
From AdWeek:
Talking Food Gets Amusingly Raunchy in Culinary School Spots Pastry is seductive, ducks are borderline gross—but funny
The San Diego Culinary Institute has a trio of talking food commercials that are funny, albeit in a dumb way, but also a lot more sexually charged than this kind of ad tends to be. The “Napoleon” ad at least tries to be a little seductive (and who among us hasn't been seduced by dessert before? Don't lie to yourselves), but the “Ducks” spot borders on flat-out inappropriate. I mean, I'm OK with it, but I hope the institute knows what it's getting into. Some of its incoming applications might get pretty strange. Created by San Francisco agency Muh-tay-zik | Hoff-fer.
New research: Friends with benefits relationships (FWB).
Despite the fact that FWB relationships have become very common, there's still little research examining the nature and impact (both positive and negative) of these types of relationships. This recent study was just published online in the Archives of Sexual Behavior:
Friendship After a Friends with Benefits Relationship: Deception, Psychological Functioning, and Social Connectedness Abstract
Friends with benefits (FWB) relationships are formed by an integration of friendship and sexual intimacy, typically without the explicit commitments characteristic of an exclusive romantic relationship. The majority of these relationships do not transition into committed romantic relationships, raising questions about what happens to the relationship after the FWB ends. In a sample of 119 men and 189 women university students, with a median age of 19 years and the majority identified as Caucasian (63.6 %), we assessed relationship adjustment, feelings of deception, perception of the FWB relationship and friendship, social connectedness, psychological distress, and loneliness. Results demonstrated that the majority of FWB relationships continued as friendships after the sexual intimacy ceased and that about 50 % of the participants reported feeling as close or closer to their FWB partner. Those who did not remain friends were more likely to report that their FWB relationship was more sex- than friendship-based; they also reported higher levels of feeling deceived by their FWB partner and higher levels of loneliness and psychological distress, but lower levels of mutual social connectedness. Higher levels of feeling deceived were related to feeling less close to the post-FWB friend; also, more sex-based FWB relationships were likely to result in post-FWB friendships that were either more or less close (as opposed to unchanged). FWB relationships, especially those that include more attention to friendship based intimacy, do not appear to negatively impact the quality of the friendship after the “with benefits” ends.
The reference, for those who would like to read the full article (search through UBC Library, PsycInfo):
Owen, J., Fincham, F. D., & Manthos, M. (2013). Friendship after a friends with benefits relationship: Deception, psychological functioning, and social connectedness. Archives of Sexual Behaviour, DOI: 10.1007/s10508-013-0160-7 (published online first).
Porn sex versus real sex.
in Pornography
(the stats aren't entirely representative, but close enough)
More PostSecrets.
in Humour Etc.
DOMA struck down.
This is a huge day in the States. The Supreme Court ruled that the Defence of Marriage Act (DOMA), banning same sex marriage, is unconstitutional. This means that the federal government will now legally recognize same sex marriages. While this is a massive victory for gay rights at the federal level, it still leaves room for individual states to write their own laws regarding gay marriage. As it stands, 30 stated have amended their constitutions to forbid same-sex marriage. So the battle will now be taken to the state level.
Not surprisingly, this story has been all over the news. Here's a sample from the Huffington Post:
Supreme Court DOMA Decision Rules Federal Same-Sex Marriage Ban Unconstitutional
WASHINGTON -- The Defense of Marriage Act, the law barring the federal government from recognizing same-sex marriages legalized by the states, is unconstitutional, the Supreme Court ruled Wednesday by a 5-4 vote.
"The federal statute is invalid, for no legitimate purpose overcomes the purpose and effect to disparage and to injure those whom the State, by its marriage laws, sought to protect in personhood and dignity,” Justice Anthony Kennedy wrote in the majority opinion. "By seeking to displace this protection and treating those persons as living in marriages less respected than others, the federal statute is in violation of the Fifth Amendment."
Justice Kennedy delivered the court’s opinion, and was joined by Justices Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Stephen Breyer, Sonia Sotomayor and Elena Kagan. Chief Justice John Roberts and Justices Antonin Scalia and Samuel Alito all filed dissenting opinions. Justice Clarence Thomas joined Scalia's dissent in whole and parts of Alito's opinion.
As Kennedy read the majority opinion from the bench, cries were heard in the courtroom when the justice delivered the verdict that DOMA violates the Fifth Amendment. A number of same-sex couples sitting in the audience looked up at the ceiling, while others wiped away tears.
DOMA, signed by President Bill Clinton in 1996, prevented same-sex couples whose marriages were recognized by their home state from receiving the hundreds of benefits available to other married couples under federal law. During the Obama administration, the Justice Department initially defended DOMA in court despite the administration’s desire to repeal it. But the Justice Department changed course in early 2011, finding that the law was unconstitutional and declining to defend it any longer. (The majority opinion slightly criticized that decision on Wednesday, writing that the "failure to defend the constitutionality of an Act of Congress based on a constitutional theory not yet established in judicial decisions" had "created a procedural dilemma.") House Republicans have since spent hundreds of thousands of dollars taking over that defense.
Read the rest, plus tons of video and photos from around the web, here.
Most religious cities highest porn consumers.
in Attitudes, Pornography
From Al.com (and reported all over the place):
Sometimes it doesn't pay to be No. 1.
Not when the ranking is on the list of "very religious" cities whose residents watch the most online porn.
Huntsville took top "honors" in the poll in which one of the largest online pornography sites, PornHub.com, used data from a Gallup poll on U.S. cities that are "very religious" and compared it with the cities whose residents most often visit its site, according to the BuzzFeed.com.
The findings - based on most religious cities ranked by per capita visits to Pornhub between December 1, 2012 and April 30, 2013 - showed 55 percent of Huntsville residents are "very religious" and make 23.8 PornHub views per capita.
Montgomery and Birmingham showed up on the list, as well, at Nos. 2 and 7, respectively.
Here is the Top 12 list (see more detailed information at BuzzFeed):
1. Huntsville, Al.
2. Montgomery, Al.
3. Little Rock, Ark. (including North Little Rock and Conway)
4. Baton Rouge, La.
5. Augusta, Ga. (including Richmond County)
6. Jackson, Miss.
7. Birmingham, Al. (including Hoover)
8. Holland, Mich. (including Green Haven)
9. Greenville, S.C. (including Mauldin and Easley)
10. Provo, Utah (including Orem)
11. Hickory, N.C. (including Lenoir and Morganton)
12. Ogden, Utah, (including Clearfield)
To be a male porn star.
in Pornography
Danny Wylde is a bisexual porn superstar. He's also a writer, musician, blogger, filmmaker, etc. You can read about him here. His blog is extremely candid, and he often uses it to discuss difficult and controversial topics. At times it even verges on academic. Several of his posts address the realities of working in the porn industry (he's done it all).
Here's an excerpt from one of those posts:
There are about two dozen of us at any given time: guys who fuck full-time for a living. At least in straight porn. At least in the good ol' US of A. With gay porn, the number expands indefinitely – though not necessarily for well-known tops.
There is a reason for this. Porn is hard. Hard for women for a number of very legitimate reasons. Hard for men for completely different ones.
My personal reasons for getting into porn can be broken up into two categories: financial need and sexual exploration. If I'm to be honest, the latter included a simple desire to get my dick wet. It's part of why any guy jumps into the industry. Though when it comes to my reasons for continuing, the explanation gets much more complicated.
I can say now, after seven years, that my job is a lot fun. It's because I've learned how to meet the needs of my employers, and also my own. The learning process is (for the most part) behind me.
However, I probably should have quit a long time ago. If not for my ex-girlfriend, I would have. There's no joy to be had in failing at sex.
The first time I looked down at a girl sucking my limp penis, I made an excuse. I needed some time to my self. She wasn't my type. “This has never happened before,” I told the director. And it was true. Before I witnessed the complete lack of my own sexual response, I didn't believe such a thing could be a problem.
Read the rest here.
Porn versus reality.
in Pornography
Critique: In defence of pornography.
in Attitudes, Pornography
Wendy McElroy is a self-described individualist feminist and individualist anarchist (her website is here). She's the authour of XXX: A Woman's Right to Pornography. In an article published online, she analytically works her way through the various feminist approaches to pornography. Here are some excerpts:
[...]
The assumed degradation is often linked to the 'objectification' of women: that is, porn converts them into sexual objects. What does this mean? If taken literally, it means nothing because objects don't have sexuality; only beings do. But to say that porn portrays women as 'sexual beings' makes for poor rhetoric. Usually, the term 'sex objects' means showing women as 'body parts', reducing them to physical objects. What is wrong with this? Women are as much their bodies as they are their minds or souls. No one gets upset if you present women as 'brains' or as 'spiritual beings'. If I concentrated on a woman's sense of humor to the exclusion of her other characteristics, is this degrading? Why is it degrading to focus on her sexuality?
[...]
Although women in pornography appear to be willing, anti-porn feminists know that no psychologically healthy woman would agree to the degradation of pornography. Therefore, if agreement seems to be present, it is because the women have 'fallen in love with their own oppression' and must be rescued from themselves.
A common emotional theme in the porn actresses I have interviewed is a love of exhibitionism. Yet if such a woman declares her enjoyment in flaunting her body, anti-porn feminists claim she is not merely a unique human being who reacts from a different background or personality. She is psychologically damaged and no longer responsible for her actions. In essence, this is a denial of a woman's right to choose anything outside the narrow corridor of choices offered by political/sexual correctness. The right to choose hinges on the right to make a 'wrong' choice, just as freedom of religion entails the right to be an atheist. After all, no one will prevent a woman from doing what they think she should do.
Read the rest here.
More PostSecrets.
in Humour Etc.
Dylan Ryan on ethical pornography.
in Pornography
From a Pop My Cherry Review interview with porn star Dylan Ryan:
[Introduction]
Dylan Ryan, in my humble opinion, is one of the sexiest and smartest women in porn today. I’m a big fan of hers not only because I can always count on her for a hot scene, but also because she has a brain and views the work she does as revolutionary. And it really is revolutionary. It was an honor getting to interview her and I hope you enjoy her answers to my questions as much as I do.
[...]
GJ: How do you define ethical pornography?
DR: I have really struggled with how to answer this question, primarily because ethics is defined as a set of moral rules or standards of conduct held up or reinforced by a community. In the case of pornography, I feel that most people would argue that porn, by it’s very nature is unethical as it does not subscribe to any standards of it’s own convention and instead subverts the traditional and widely held morals of western society. So where to go from there? I think at that point in my thought process, my definition of ethical porn becomes very personal and based on my morals and values. So to answer it from that place, my values and my personal ethics are around fair treatment and individual agency. I think that ethical porn is porn where all the people involved are there and operating of their own volition, free from coercion or force. To go a step further, I think that ethical porn, or should I say, “successful” ethical porn is porn that ventures to show that and make it known that everyone involved is not only acting on personal agency but actually wants to be there. I find it refreshing when the scene I am watching operates in a way where the performers’s desire comes across, their interest, their enjoyment about what they are doing. I think that a major tenant of foundational ethics is the concept of force, that something is “unethical” if it is being done to someone against their will, being done without their consent and consideration. Though this is a somewhat narrow perspective on what ethical porn could be, I will concentrate my thoughts there… that ethical porn is that where the performers want to be performing and are enjoying performing.
The rest of the interview can be found here.