Theatre: The Hooker Monologues.

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Sex work is highly stigmatized. There are many negative stereotypes about the people who provide sexual services for money (i.e., sex workers). When the public thinks of sex workers, they typically think of survival sex workers like the ones you see on the street of Vancouver's Downtown Eastside. But, there is huge diversity within sex work, and sex workers rarely have a chance to share their stories without fear of judgment and persecution. That's, in part, why this project is so powerful. Not all the performers are sex workers. Those who aren't are still directly related in some way as advocates.

I had a chance to see the show in its preliminary state - it was fantastic. Several of the people involved have been panelists for the class that I teach at UBC (I also consider them friends). So, I might be a bit biased. Legitimately, though, they kicked some serious ass. The show will be on stage in March. You can find out more and buy tickets here: link.

The CBC has been following the making the of the show and last week The National featured this segment:

Sex workers reveal their real-life stories on stage during a theatrical performance. Full Story: http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/british-columbia/hooker-monologues-1.3356169 """ Subscribe to The National to watch more videos here: https://www.youtube.com/user/CBCTheNational?sub_confirmation=1 Voice Your Opinion & Connect With Us Online: The National Updates on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thenational The National Updates on Twitter: https://twitter.com/CBCTheNational The National Updates on Google+: https://plus.google.com/+CBCTheNational """ """ """ """ """ The National is CBC Television's flagship news program.

CBC also published a piece about the show:

Sex workers come out of the shadows to perform The Hooker Monologues
By Duncan McCue
When sex worker Carmen Shakti begins her ribald tale of five hours spent providing oral stimulation to an erection-challenged client — a marathon session that ends only after she develops cheek cramps — many in the audience aren't sure how to react.
"He's floppy as flounder, so I have to increase the suction," she reads into the stage microphone.
Eyebrows rise. Faces stiffen. Some chuckle.
But as her story builds toward a crescendo — with the client desperately trying to climax while the service provider fantasizes about steak dinners and kitchen appliances — nearly everyone in the house is howling with laughter.
"When I'm done, I lie in bed with my stack of cash, arranging it in stacks of 100. Yeah, baby, that's my rent for the month, right there! My face will recover," Shakti says with a triumphant giggle before strolling in stilettos back to her chair.

Read the rest here: link.

Rules for dating a sex worker.

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The fact that the article linked below was published in Cosmopolitan is a bit mind blowing. Have things really changed so much that Cosmopolitan is now publishing articles by sex workers about sex work?

Pieces like this in mainstream publications are helpful for destigmatizing sex work. As part of that process, they challenge the worn-out stereotypes of sex workers as all being naïve, exploited, or otherwise broken.

The following piece lays out some important rules for dating sex workers. It's too bad something similar hasn't been published in a men's magazine like GQ, Details, or Playboy, where it could reach the audience that would most benefit from it most.

Some highlights from Cosmopolitan piece:

What It's Like to Date When You're a Porn Star
There are three cardinal rules for dating a sex worker. Don't break them.
By Andre Shakti
[...]
There are a few rules for dating a sex worker: don't compromise their cash flow by driving away their business, never out them to other people without their consent, and don't expect them to eagerly perform activities they normally get paid to do for free. He'd broken all three, and my work and my personal life were getting a little too close for comfort. I needed to draw a boundary, so I kicked well-intentioned Sam to the curb. 
[...]
The hardest boundary I've had to confront in my romantic relationships is the line between authentic desire in my work, and the "it's just work" defense. Sex workers in committed partnerships often spend a great deal of time reassuring their partners that what they do at work is fake. "It's not real intimacy," we insist after coming home from a porn shoot, "I'm on set. I'm cold. People are staring at me. The last thing I'm feeling is aroused." Then we highlight everything that makes our partners special to us to ease their jealousy. I'm not saying that sex workers who reassure their partners like this are being dishonest. Not exactly. But the world isn't black-and-white, and while the vast majority of us are not regularly turned on by our work, real connections can happen with scene partners and genuine fun can be had with clients. So where's the line? 

Read the rest here: link.

 

Dinosaur erotica.

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Link posted in the comments section this week (thanks!).

When it comes to kinks, fetishes, and sexual interests in general, the rule goes - if you can imagine it, there's someone somewhere who gets turned on by it.

From IFLScience: 

Dinosaur Erotica Novels Are A Real Thing
by Tom Hale
As well-read as you may be, you’ve probably never heard of this obscure subgenre before. Yes, “dinosaur erotica” is dedicated to the niche world of dinosaur fetishes and mythical beast penchants, with some of its titles including “Mating with the Raptor,” "Taken at the Dinosaur Museum,” and “Ravished by the Triceratops“.
[...]
The Huffington Post asked Alara Branwen, coauthor of several dinosaur erotica books, about what she felt the appeal of fantasy dino-sex was. “I think it’s because dinosaur erotica appeals to our more base, carnal natures,” she said. “Some people also probably like the idea of a big, powerful, massive male roughly having sex with a smaller female. It’s like the ultimate sexual experience with an alpha male, which is something that we are all inherently wired to enjoy.”

Read the rest here: link.

Documentary: Fat Girls and Feeders (Feederism).

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Feederism is considered a fetish or paraphilia.

Feeders derive sexual pleasure from feeding their partners (often to the point of extreme obesity).

Gainers derive sexual pleasure from eating (and typically becoming as large as possible).

However, most feeders are not in relationships with gainers, who are rare - they're typically in relationships with obese partners who gain weight to sexually satisfy their feeder partners. These partners are called feedees. For the sake of simplicity, I will refer to feedees as the partners of feeders, even though some are clearly gainers.

There's an ongoing debate about the nature and health of feeder/feedee relationships.

Fans of feederism typically claim that feeder/feedee relationships are fully consensual, that power is shared equally between the partners, that both the feeders and the feedees derive sexual pleasure from the feeder/feedee dynamic, and that the couples are fulfilled by their relationships. This is likely true for some, if not many, feeder/feedee relationships (although there isn't any good research, so we don't know).

On the other hand, critics argue that feeder/feedee relationships are highly exploitative and manipulative, and are extremely dangerous for the feedees. Critics claim that the feeders are predatory, taking advantage of women with extreme low self-esteem and poor body image.

Fat Girls and Feeders is the documentary that explores the feeder/feedee relationship. It paints a very pathological picture.

You can download it here (NSFW and not for the faint of heart).

On YouTube:

Most fucked

Not long after the documentary was released, Gina, the woman featured in it, had these scathing words to say in defence of her relationship: link here.

There are websites devoted to the feeder scene. These two appear to be the largest: links here and here.

For a critique of feederism, click here.

There's a defence of feederism in the reply section, submitted by someone who is not part of the class but who came across the post last year.

Another mini-doc about feederism from Vice:

After years of getting paid to scarf down tacos and pizza on "fat fetish" cam sites, Donna Simpson reached an astonishing 600 lbs. She's now desperately trying to lose weight in order to lead a normal life for the sake of herself and her children.

Donald Trump collage made of penis pics.

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Juvenile, but funny given what a dickhead the guy is.

Via HomoPower:

Someone once made a photo mosaic pic of conservative republican politician Rick Santorum using porn images.  I thought I’d go one better, in lieu of SNL letting him host last night.  I give you a pic showing what Donald Trump is really made of.  This is a high-resolution photo mosaic of Trump made with 500 dick pics.

Woman tricked female friend into having sex by pretending to be a man.

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Not often that you hear stories like this. Wowzer.

From Guardian:

Woman who pretended to be man to trick friend into sex jailed for eight years
Gayle Newland sentenced to eight years in prison for disguising her appearance and persuading woman to wear blindfold while they had sex.
A woman who duped her friend into having sex by pretending to be a man for two years has been sentenced to eight years in prison.
Gayle Newland, 25, of Willaston, Cheshire, disguised her appearance and voice, and persuaded the woman to put on a blindfold when they met up.
They had sex about 10 times until the complainant took off her mask and saw Newland wearing a prosthetic penis.
Sentencing, Judge Roger Dutton said Newland was “an intelligent, obsessional, highly manipulative, deceitful, scheming and thoroughly determined young woman”. 
Newland claimed her accuser, also 25, always knew she was pretending to be a man as they engaged in role play while struggling with their sexuality.

Read the rest here: link.

 

XKCD takes on Pick Up Artists.

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For those unfamiliar with pick up artists (PUA) or the seduction scene, it's a loose-knit group of guys who have turned to tricks and sometimes manipulation to pick up and sleep with women. These men have typically been rejected many times over, have low self-esteem, and rage with resent and a sense of entitlement when it comes to sex.

There are PUA books, websites, etc. that provide tips and techniques. One of the most notorious strategies is called negging. Negging is underhanded compliments or thinly veiled insults that are intended to undermine the confidence of women. They typically are about appearance. The idea behind negging is that it puts the guy doing the negging in a position of power by discounting the woman's attractiveness, with the hopes that she will then try to gain his approval.

Here are some samples:

With that wit, it’s a good thing you’re pretty.

In one more drink I’ll be ready to hit on you.

Nice nails, are they real?

You have little crinkles around your eyes when you laugh

It's kind of rude to chew with your mouth open.

That outfit is really sharp. It would look much better if it were (some other color).

Nice, right? And PAUs wonder why they have a terrible reputation.

XKCD, in typical brilliant fashion, takes on the stupidity of negging with this strip:

Why do some people lose their hearing when they orgasm?

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Link posted in the comments section this week (thanks!).

Some people, after they orgasm, get a ringing in their ears or temporarily lose their hearing. (I've also heard of people who experience a body-wide tingling that they describe as a more pleasurable version of the sensation associated with having your leg fall asleep.)

In a recent piece published at Broadly, a medical expert weighed in on why orgasms may affect hearing, in particular. Keep in mind that there is no research addressing this, so it's all theory at this point.

From Broadly:

Science Explains Why You Sometimes Can't Hear After You Orgasm
by Sophie Saint Thomas
When I come really hard, I lose my hearing for a few minutes—and I'm not the only one. I asked an ear, nose, and throat surgeon why.
[...]
Broadly: Have you ever heard of ringing in the ears related to orgasm? 
Dr. Eric Levi: I've never been asked that before, and I've never ever thought about the association between the two. So I did what I was trained to do with any question I don't know the answer to: I researched it to see if there are any available explanations in the scientific literature.
I think I may have found the possible explanations. But first, a big disclaimer: I am not an expert in the subject of tinnitus [the scientific term for ringing in the ears] or female orgasm. The findings detailed here are not an extensive and definitive thesis on hearing loss, tinnitus, and the female orgasm. It's simply how I theoretically and scientifically make sense of it with the limited data available on the matter.
[...]
Let's hear your hypotheses. 
Here is my first hypothesis: that the sudden reduction in heart rate and blood pressure results in sudden pressure changes in the middle ear and reduction of blood flow to the inner ear. The middle ear is a finely tuned piece of engineering. Changes in pressure within it would change the acoustic properties of sound transmission through the eardrum and hearing bones. This might result in a muffled hearing. In addition, the reduction of blood flow to the inner ear cochlea might mean that the hearing nerves might experience a transient reduction of essential nutrients, which results in temporary faulty signaling to the brain. This might explain the hearing loss and tinnitus.
My second hypothesis relates to what happens in the brain itself. During sex and orgasm, the areas in the brain that gets switched on are the nucleus accumbens (reward center), hypothalamus (oxytocin production), amygdala (emotions), hippocampus (memory storage), and cerebellum (muscle tone). More importantly, the parts of the brain that gets deactivated are the prefrontal cortex (decision making and executive thought) and the temporal lobe (hearing and sensory association center)—that last bit is important. My second hypothesis therefore is that the change in the activity of the temporal lobe after orgasm results in a change in auditory perception. This may result in some people having a change in their threshold for experiencing tinnitus. In addition, the release of chemical endorphins may also change the activities of the neurotransmitters in the brain, causing a change in sensory perception.

Read the rest for the full the explanation: link.

Penis size: Does it matter?

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First contribution to AskMen.com: more to come.

Does Penis Size Matter?
How Big Is Normal? And Do Women Really Care? Get The Answers Here
by Dr. Jason Winters
Penis size is a major source of anxiety for a lot of guys. The anxiety can be bad enough that it completely undermines their self-confidence as sex partners. This is understandable given the importance of the penis size in many men’s minds. Despite this very real feeling concern, is penis size that important when it comes down to doing the dirty?
What Exactly Is Average?
Penis size, much like most human traits, follows the bell curve. This means that almost all guys fall within the normal range.  Very few men have penises that would be considered particularly small or large. At one end of the penis size spectrum is congenital micropenis, defined as approximately 2.5 inches or less in length, fully erect. About half of one percent of men would fall into this category. At the other end of the spectrum is someone like Jonah Falcon, the man who currently holds the record for the largest penis. His penis is 13.5 inches erect, making it extremely difficult if not impossible to have penetrative sex. So what’s the average?

Read the rest here: link

 

New research on gynandromorphophilia, or sexual attraction to 'shemales' (pejorative).

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Bailey Jay

Bailey Jay

It appears that a growing number of heterosexual-identifying men are seeking out pornography featuring performers who were born male, retain their penises, but otherwise are female. These trans women performers and sex workers are often called shemales or tgirls, although many consider both terms pejorative. Typically, their transitions include the use of feminizing (i.e., female) sex hormones and breast enhancement surgery.

Many heterosexual men with this sexual preference are understandably confused and question their sexual identities. I've worked with several of them in my clinical practice. The objective of our work together is to increase understanding, acceptance, and integration of their sexual interest within the context of their heterosexual identities (much like any other unusual sexual interest).

As for the exact nature and origins of this sexual interest, nobody is entirely sure. Some, such as Dan Savage of Savage Love, have suggested that what drives these men is a sexual interest in penises, but not men. Framed this way, trans women with penises are a man-free and safe way to satisfy a sexual interest in penises.

Another theory suggests that a sexual interest in trans women with penises is related to, or a manifestation of, autogynephilia. Autogynephilia is a paraphilia (an unusual sexual interest) seen in heterosexual men, and characterized by sexual fantasies of having a woman's body.

A study recently published in the journal Psychological Medicine is the first to shed some light on this topic.

The main findings were that men with gynandromorphophilia really are heterosexual (and not homosexual or bisexual), but exhibit a unique pattern of sexual responding to stimuli featuring trans women with penises.

You can read the full academic journal article here: link.

Abstract

Background
Gynandromorphophilia (GAMP) is sexual interest in gynandromorphs (GAMs; colloquially, shemales). GAMs possess a combination of male and female physical characteristics. Thus, GAMP presents a challenge to conventional understandings of sexual orientation as sexual attraction to the male v. female form. Speculation about GAMP men has included the ideas that they are homosexual, heterosexual, or especially, bisexual.

Method
We compared genital and subjective sexual arousal patterns of GAMP men with those of heterosexual and homosexual men. We also compared these groups on their self-ratings of sexual orientation and sexual interests.

Results
GAMP men had arousal patterns similar to those of heterosexual men and different from those of homosexual men. However, compared to heterosexual men, GAMP men were relatively more aroused by GAM erotic stimuli than by female erotic stimuli. GAMP men also scored higher than both heterosexual and homosexual men on a measure of autogynephilia.

Conclusions
Results provide clear evidence that GAMP men are not homosexual. They also indicate that GAMP men are especially likely to eroticize the idea of being a woman.