Some ponderings on threesomes.

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From NY Mag:

Just How Preposterous Is the Fantasy of No-Strings Threesomes? By Maureen O'Connor

[…]

Three-way sex may have a reputation as libertinish, profligate, ­promiscuous. But in just about every way the three-way defies and distorts the no-strings plus-one fantasy — instead reflecting and refracting our understanding of commitment. Beginning with what it means to couples, who often see it as a way of branching out. But the more I talked to couples about their threesomes, the more it seemed a third person forces the other two to realize exactly how much — or little — they have in common. At a time when the most universal sexual imperatives seem to be communication and shared pleasure, three-ways have shifted toward the cult of romance — sexual fantasy sublimated into intense coupling. They’re for the couple who share everything, including mistresses. Assuming, of course, they can find a willing mistress. “They should call this app Unicorn Hunter,” a straight 31-year-old grumbled to me on 3nder.

[…]

But even among those more likely to visit New Zealand, three-ways remain a common form of monogamist escapist fantasy. My friend Maya (her name and some others have been changed) considers three-way flirtation the ultimate win-win “sexual white lie”: “Just hot enough to make you sound kinky, without being kinky enough to scare off more conservative men. And the logistics involved are so intricate that it’s rarely going to come to fruition anyway.” Normally, she considers herself “too insecure and afraid of getting left out to actually do it,” articulating a common three-way fear: jealousy and rivalry breaking the couple apart.

Read the rest here.

New research on sexting.

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From PsychCentral:

Is Sexting Normal? By Rick Nauert PhD

Provocative new research suggests sexting may be a new “normal” part of adolescent sexual development and is not strictly limited to at-risk teens.

Researchers have published their findings on teenage sexting and future sexual activity in the journal Pediatrics.

[…]

Investigators believe this shows that sexting behavior is a normal sign of teenage sexual activity. This belief is buttressed by the failure to discover a link between sexting and risky sexual behavior over time.

In other words, sexting may be becoming a part of growing up.

“We now know that teen sexting is fairly common,” said Dr. Jeff Temple, an associate professor and psychologist at University of Texas Medical Branch at Galveston (UTMB).

“For instance, sexting may be associated with other typical adolescent behaviors such as substance use. Sexting is not associated with either good or poor mental well-being.”

[…]

In the analysis, Temple and a postdoctoral research fellow at UTMB, Hye Jeong Choi, Ph.D., examined data from the second and third years of their study to determine whether teen sexting predicted sexual activity one year later.

They found that the odds of being sexually active as high school juniors was slightly higher for youth who sent a sext, or naked picture of themselves, the previous year, compared to teens who did not sext.

Just as importantly, they did not find sexting to be linked with later risky sexual behaviors.

An important component of the study is the distinction between actively sending a nude picture versus asking or being asked for a nude picture. Researchers found that actually sending a sext was the important part of the link between sexting and sexual behavior, as opposed to merely asking or being asked for a nude picture.

Read the rest here.

Lab-grown penises.

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This is making news all over the place. From The Guardian:

The Lab-Grown Penis: Approaching a Medical Milestone

After more than 20 years of research, a team of scientists are bioengineering penises in the lab which may soon be transplanted safely on to patients. It is an extraordinary medical endeavour that has implications for a wide range of disorders.

Gathered around an enclosure at the Wake Forest Institute for Regenerative Medicine in North Carolina in 2008, Anthony Atala and his colleagues watched anxiously to see if two rabbits would have sex. The suspense was short-lived: within a minute of being put together, the male mounted the female and successfully mated.

While it’s not clear what the rabbits made of the moment, for Atala it was definitely special. It was proof that a concept he’d been working on since 1992 – that penises could be grown in a laboratory and transplanted to humans – was theoretically possible. The male rabbit was one of 12 for which he had bioengineered a penis; all tried to mate; in eight there was proof of ejaculation; four went on to produce offspring.

The media’s coverage of Atala’s announcement a year later was understandably excited. Not just because of the novelty of a man growing penises in a laboratory, but because his work would fulfil a real need for men who have lost their penis through genital defects, traumatic injury, surgery for aggressive penile cancer, or even jilted lovers exacting revenge.

[…]

Organs increase in architectural complexity as they go from flat structures such as skin, cylindrical structures such as the vagina, to hollow non-tubular organs such as the bladder. As a solid organ, the penis tops this list in both density of cells and structural complexity. It consists of a spongy erectile tissue unique to it. During an erection, signals from the nerves trigger blood vessels to dilate, filling this spongy tissue with blood and causing the penis to lengthen and stiffen.

“We were completely stuck,” says Atala of the first few years of research in the early 90s. “Even the idea of the field of regenerative medicine was brand new at the time. We had no idea how to make this structure, let alone make it so it would perform like the natural organ.” Then, in 1994, he figured he could take a helping hand from Mother Nature. Using a technique pioneered for biological skin dressings, he would take a donor penis and soak it in a mild detergent of enzymes for a couple of weeks to wash away the donor cells.

“You’re left with a mostly collagen scaffold – a skeleton if you like, that looks and feels just like the organ,” explains James Yoo, one of Atala’s collaborators at the institute. “Think of it like a building. If you remove all the furniture and the people, you’re still left with the main structure of the building. Then you replace the tenants with new ones. That’s the whole idea. It’s just that the building is a penis and the tenants are cells.”

Read the rest here.

Gay Things Straight Guys Do.

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A classic from Davey Wavey:

Straight guys do a lot of things that are really, really gay. These are those things. Davey's pink "kween" tank top and other Davey Wavey apparel: http://daveywavey.acmeprints.com/ Like Davey Wavey on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/DaveyWaveyOfficial Davey Wavey tumblr: http://www.thedaveywaveyofficial.tumblr.com Davey on Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/OfficialDaveyWavey Davey's Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/TheDaveyWavey Davey's second YouTube channel: http://www.youtube.com/DaveyWaveyRaw Davey's Fitness YouTube channel: http://www.youtube.com/DaveyWaveyFitness Davey's fitness blog: http://www.daveywaveyfitness.com Davey's Website: http://www.daveywavey.tv Mail me: Davey Wavey, Inc.

Sperm.

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From the legendary Laurie Anderson: 

Laurie's piece "Mach 20" from "United States Live". This was on a short-lived TV show called "The New Show". It was produced by the same producer as an earlier show that employed some of the same people, but it definitely was "The New Show". I mean, I taped the damn thing.

Female orgasm rates vary by sexual orientation.

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From the Indiana University:

Study: Orgasm Rates For Single Women Less Predictable Than Men's, Vary By Sexual Orientation

A new study of American singles found that during sex with a familiar partner, men have the highest orgasm rates. On average, men experience orgasm 85.1 percent of the time, with their sexual orientation making little difference. For women, however, orgasm occurrence is less predictable. On average, women experience orgasm 62.9 percent of the time during sex with a familiar partner -- and this pattern varies with women’s sexual orientation, with lesbian women experiencing orgasm more often than heterosexual or bisexual women.

[…]

The new study analyzed data from the 2011 wave of the Singles in America study, a now annual survey on the attitudes and behaviors of U.S. singles using nationally representative samples of single men and women ages 21 and older. The Singles in America sample was augmented to provide a better representation of gay men and lesbian women participants. In the current study, respondents were limited to men and women who had sex with a familiar partner during the previous year. It ultimately involved a final sample of 2,850 individuals.

Findings:

  • Women reported experiencing orgasm 62.9 percent of the time.
  • Lesbian women reported an orgasm rate of 74.7 percent.
  • Heterosexual women reported an orgasm rate of 61.6 percent.
  • Bisexual women reported an orgasm rate of 58 percent.
  • Men reported experiencing orgasm 85.1 percent of the time, with sexual orientation making no statistically significant difference (gay men 84.7 percent; heterosexual men 85.5 percent; bisexual men 77.6 percent).

[…]

The researchers speculate on the patterns observed, suggesting it could be the result of such known factors as length of a sexual encounter (earlier research points to lesbian women spending more time per sexual session); differences in gendered and sexual attitudes across sexual orientation; and even possible biological factors, such as prenatal exposure to the hormones testosterone and estrogen.

The study authors note that the National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior, also led by IU researchers, found a correlation between the rate of orgasms for men and women and the variety of sexual behaviors they reported.

Garcia said that partner communication -- both spoken and unspoken -- can play a big role in shaping sexual experiences and outcomes, including satisfaction.

"Some individuals will say what they want in a sexual encounter, or may be willing to say as much if their partner asked," Garcia said. "For others, communication may be nonverbal, with body language being key. This may also involve getting to know each other, both in and out of the bedroom, to understand what allows a particular sexual partner to experience a positive sexual outcome."

Importantly, however, Garcia also notes that orgasm should not be equated with sexual satisfaction, as the two can be quite independent, and that in some instances orgasm is not the goal of a sexual encounter.

Read the rest here.

Short film: Piss.

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This short film addresses the issue of how a couple can incorporate one partner's (or both, for that matter) atypical sexual preference(s) into their sexual relationship.

Written/Produced by Bette Bentley. Directed by Vincent Peone and Bette Bentley. Piss is a short film about a girl trying to convince her feminist boyfriend to pee on her. Official selection of the Miami Short Film Festival and Austin Gay and Lesbian Film Festival and Cinekink Film Festival.

WARNING: This film features aggressive language as part of sexual play - to the actors' credit, it's very realistic. If you've been a victim of sexual violence, or find coercion/abuse, even as part of sex play, at all upsetting, this film may trigger a strong and distressing response. Very NSFW language!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jC77OYvvX7E http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1664013/ Written/Produced by Bette Bentley. Directed by Vincent Peone and Bette Bentley. Edited by Monica Racic. Piss is a short film about a girl trying to convince her feminist boyfriend to pee on her. Official selection of the Miami Short Film Festival and Austin Gay and Lesbian Film Festival and Cinekink Film Festival.


100 orgasms per day.

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100 Orgasms A Day: Freak Accident Leaves Man With Debilitating Disorder SUBSCRIBE: We upload a new incredible video every weekday. Subscribe to our YouTube channel so you don't miss out: http://bit.ly/Oc61Hj Watch Amanda Gryce cope with PSAS: https://www.youtube.com/edit?o=U&video_id=XfhmG_9ZqAs A heartbroken man suffers from 100 orgasms each day - but does not enjoy a single one.

Best fake orgasm scene ever?

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From When Harry Met Sally (1989). For those who haven't seen it, the story follows two friends, Harry (Billy Crystal) and Sally (Meg Ryan), over several years and various relationships. Harry claims that men and women can never be friends, while Meg argues that they can. To find out who is right, you'll have to see the movie. At one point Harry and Sally argue about fake orgasms, which leads to this:

This is a classic and funny part to a very good movie. The restaurant/deli scene where Sally fakes an orgasm to prove a point. "When Harry Met Sally" is a classic Billy Crystal & Meg Ryan flick...the woman who said that famous line is none other than TV's funny man actor/producer/director, (Rob Reiner)'s mom, Estelle, who passed away in 2008.

Any more nominees for the best or worst fake orgasm scene ever (excluding porn - that'd be too easy)?

More in the Comments section.

Ten things you didn't know about orgasms.

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http://www.ted.com "Bonk" author Mary Roach delves into obscure scientific research, some of it centuries old, to make 10 surprising claims about sexual climax, ranging from the bizarre to the hilarious. (This talk is aimed at adults. Viewer discretion advised.)

Mary Roach wrote the book Bonk, which is a peek into the weird and wonderful world of sex research. It's received all sorts of accolades and made many top ten book lists. From the book's homepage:

The study of sexual physiology—what happens, and why, and how to make it happen better—has been going on for centuries, behind the closed doors of laboratories, brothels, Alfred Kinsey's attic, and, more recently, MRI centers, pig farms, and sex-toy R&D labs. I spent two years wheedling and conniving my way behind those doors to bring you the answers to the questions Dr. Ruth never asked. Is your penis three inches longer than you think? Is vaginal orgasm a myth? Can a dead man get an erection? Why doesn't Viagra help women—or, for that matter, pandas?

More here.

Premature ejaculation and women's sexual satisfaction.

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From PsyPost:

Study: Women repeatedly short-changed when it comes to premature ejaculation

Premature ejaculation is one of the most common sexual disorders in men. But it is not just the men who suffer; it also causes increased psychological strain and stress in women, as a new survey conducted by Andrea Burri, a clinical psychologist at the University of Zurich, reveals.

Around 40 percent of over 1,500 women polled from Mexico, Italy and South Korea indicated that ejaculation control is very important for satisfactory intercourse. It is not the short duration of the act of lovemaking that is primarily regarded as the main source of sexual frustration by the majority of women, but the fact that the man is focused too strongly on delaying ejaculation. As a result, he ignores the sexual needs of the woman and is unable to satisfy her individual desires.

Women who rarely climax suffer more

For the majority of the women polled, satisfying sexuality does not only consist of sexual intercourse, but also includes kissing, caressing and other forms of sexual stimulation, which are considered equally important. If the man is primarily preoccupied with his problem, premature ejaculation and thus his performance, these needs are ignored.

Sexual intercourse is increasingly determined by time and not “how we like it and what is good for us”. “In the long run, the woman becomes distressed and frustrated. Much like the man, she avoids sexual contact for fear of rejection and the resulting trauma for her own sexuality,” explains sex researcher Andrea Burri. The woman thus suffers a loss in quality of life and ultimately calls the relationship into question.

It is mainly women who do not perceive intercourse as the central aspect of sexuality, but prioritize sexual creativity that suffer from the man’s one-sided attention. “Interestingly, lengthy coitus is primarily important for women who do not have any trouble climaxing,” says Burri. For women who rarely reach orgasm – if at all – how long coitus lasts is not central. Instead, the sexual act serves to establish and experience intimacy and commitment. Although premature ejaculation is also regarded as exasperating by women, the short duration is deemed less problematic than the partner’s inattentiveness towards their other sexual needs.

Read the rest here.