Have any questions or comments? If so, fire away.
Treatise on the small penis.
Designer vulvas and vaginas.
From the Atlantic:
Designer Parts: Inside the Strange, Fascinating World of Vaginoplasty
Why are some women spending upwards of $10,000 for complete "vaginal rejuvenation"? A visit to one plastic surgeon for a evaluation and sizing.
Dr. Ronald Blatt squats on the stool between the fuzzy pink stirrups propping up my legs. As I brace for the gynecologist to start poking around with his lubricated, latex encased paws, my eyes dart from a garage sale castaway of a seascape painting to an anatomy chart then back to the sole odd aspect of this setup: a mirror positioned so I can see my lady parts alongside Blatt's pink necktie-adorned head. Thank goodness I remembered to trim.
But the doctor I'm straddling isn't about to inspect my ovaries or administer a routine pap smear test. Blatt runs the Manhattan Center for Vaginal Surgery, and he's preparing to assess my vaginal tightness and to demonstrate how he might alter my labia.
I scheduled this complimentary consultation under the guise of wanting "to understand my options." Secretly, I want to explore why a growing number of women are modifying a body part so few can see by undergoing the elective surgeries in which Blatt specializes: vaginoplasty (removal of excess lining and tightening of surrounding tissue and muscles) and labiaplasty (reshaping of the labia minora, and sometimes the labia majora and/or clitoral hood). The former is often pursued by women who believe their capacity to enjoy sex is compromised by a loose vagina, which can be the result of a congenital condition -- as it was for Lucy Mancini in a Godfather plot point neglected by Francis Ford Coppola for the screen -- or childbirth. I'm especially interested in the latter, which is typically endured for purely cosmetic reasons. Although statistics on these operations are difficult to come by since most are performed by OB/GYN's rather than plastic surgeons, it is believed that the number of women having them is increasing rapidly -- some estimate by fivefold over the last decade. Perhaps most interestingly, an August 2011 study in the British Journal of Medicine showed that 40 percent of women who inquired about genital reconstruction reported the desire to go through with it even after being informed that their labia were normal.
[...]
Moments later, a middle-aged lady with a black bob in a white lab coat bounces toward me wielding pamphlets. She hugs me then steps back.
"You like my doctor? I love this man," she begins, eyes hypnotizingly wide.
"Have you had it done?"
She confesses that she hasn't, but not before reassuring, "I don't have one dissatisfied lady." Continuing, "This is a life changing surgery. You're saying boyfriend now? After this he's going to marry you. I'm telling you, my love. I'm telling you."
Blatt's hype woman escorts me on a tour of the facilities before wishing me well.
[...]
Luckily, the very World Wide Web that hosts all that porn also bestows us with Show Your Vagina, a Tumblr I chance upon while researching. Launched in September 2010, the site encourages women to post anonymous photos of their vaginas. Though shocking at first, the disparities are fixating, and I feel a whiff of empowerment for every female participant while browsing. It seems wrong not to upload my own spread eagle portrait.
Show Your Vagina is an overwhelmingly simple concept that highlights the importance of sharing and openness in combating body-related shame. Unfortunately, we can't rely upon our frighteningly remedial sex-ed programs. Nor can we rely upon popular women's magazines. When I naively pitched this piece to one such glossy, I was told: "Our EIC probably wouldn't take well to an idea that so prominently involves the word 'vagina.'" Exactly.
Read the whole thing here.
Art: The Great Wall of Vagina (vulva?).
It isn't entirely clear what is driving the increased anxiety many women are now experiencing about their vulva. One theory is that pornography is driving this trend, and that there is some sort of ideal vulva represented in porn. But as Stoya, a prominent porn star, has noted, pornography, in general, may not unequivocally be the culprit (post here - not that she's claiming that pornography doesn't have an effect on preferences). She also notes that men don't really seem to care about the size of their partners' labia.
Another theory suggests that the increase in labiaplasties is the result of marketing by plastic surgeons. So, for example, a woman visits a plastic surgeon's website for some other procedure, and sees marketing for labiaplasty, which presumably indicates that larger or asymmetrical labia are problematic. This is potentially internalized, leading to a desire to seek out labiaplasty.
Assuming pornography is responsible, however, it isn't clear if women are feeling down on their vulva because they're watching pornography and comparing themselves (specifically to those actresses with small inner labia - most actresses have average or larger labia), or if men's consumption of pornography is affecting male preferences, leading to demands about their partners' vulva (perhaps the more likely explanation?). If average and smaller labia are supposedly more desirable, then why are there very popular web sites out there dedicated to the worship of large labia (e.g., here - very NSFW)? It's also possible that the vulva is simply another part of the body that can cause anxiety, and that the more media exposure vulva dissatisfaction gets, the more anxiety that is created.
There's very little good data addressing this issue. Here is one of the few studies:
Miklos, J. R., & Moore R. D. (2008). Labiaplasty of the labia minora: Patients’ indications for pursuing surgery. Journal of Sexual Medicine, 5, 1492–5.
They found that 37% of women who underwent labiaplasty did so only for cosmetic reasons. Another 31% went through the procedure for both functional and cosmetic reasons. The other 32% had labiaplasty only for functional reasons. Overall, 6.9% stated that they were influenced by their partners (in 2 of 9 cases, by female partners!).
The paper can be found here.
Anyway, another project about labiaplasty and women's relationships with their vulva, despite the misleading name (vagina?):
From the artist's (Jamie McCartney) statement:
For this, my latest major sculpture, I cast, over the course of 5 years, the vaginas (well the vulva area in fact) of hundreds of volunteers. The Great Wall of Vagina is an exploration of women's relationships with their genitals. When I assembled the first panel of 40 casts in summer 2008, I stepped back disappointed. I realised the sculpture would need to be much bigger to have the impact I wanted. From this original piece (called Design A Vagina) has grown an epic sculpture. The final piece now has 400 casts arranged in 10 panels of 40.
"Why did I do it and what's it all about?" I hear you ask. Well, it became clear to me whilst working on a not dissimilar piece for a sex museum that many women have anxiety about their genital appearance. It appalled me that our society has created yet one more way to make women feel bad about themselves. I decided that I was uniquely placed to do something about it.
The sculpture comments on the trend for surgery to create the 'perfect' vagina. This modern day equivalent of female genital mutilation is a bizarre practice which suggests that one is better than another. Taste in nothing is universal and any desire for 'homogyny' could be very misguided. 400 casts arranged in this manner is in no way pornographic, as it might have been if photographs had been used. One is able to stare without shame but in wonder and amazement at this exposé of human variety. For the first time for many women they will be able to see their own genitals in relation to other women's. In doing so they may dispel many misconceptions they may have been carrying about what women look like 'down there'. The sculpture is serene and intricate and it works on many levels.
His website is here.
The straight goods on sex ed.
From the Pacific Standard:
What If We Admitted to Children That Sex Is Primarily About Pleasure? By Alice Dreger
A couple of months ago, the sex education notice came home in my nine-year-old son’s backpack. I didn’t realize that, in our district, sex ed starts in the fourth grade. Another sign of the state having more access to my baby than I sometimes wish.
When I handed the note to my mate at the dinner table, our son said with something of a proud smile, “I told Mrs. Reverby we’ve already talked about it at home.”
The mate and I looked at each other and obviously had the same thought. Two weeks before, the class had been learning about electricity. The teacher had gotten stuck on some questions about batteries, so she had turned to our son, who was able to explain to the class exactly how batteries charge, recharge, and discharge. He’s learned a lot about electricity at home.
And quite a lot about sex.
“You know,” my mate said to our son, “this is one of those times when you have to not help the teacher even if you know how something works.”
I busted out laughing at the admonition. “Your dad is right,” I said, composing myself. “It’s entirely possibly you know more about sex than they do, but there’s some stuff some parents might not want their kids to know, so you have to keep a lid on it.”
But really. This was the kid who in preschool answered a teacher’s “Good morning, how are you today?” with “I’m fine, but my mother is menstruating, so her uterine lining is sloughing.” I just shrugged and explained to her that he’d seen blood on the toilet paper and wanted to know if I was OK.
Stoya on vulva.
From her blog:
Stoya vs. Lady Porn Day
I am a porn star.
I am a lady that makes porn.
I hear a lot from women about how they are uncomfortable with their vaginas. They wonder if it looks right, smells right, is the right color, shape, size, proportionate, if their labia stick out too much (or even not enough).
I hear that they appreciate my comfort with my own protruding labia and take it as validation that they don’t need a hairless “coin slot” vulva where everything is all tucked in in order to be attractive.
It’s nice to hear that ladies like my body and like that I run around with no clothing on sometimes, but seriously, you need to understand something.
Dudes do not give a fuck.
I’m focusing on female/male sexual interaction here because men that only have sex with men have reasons for not wanting to touch your pretty lap flower that have nothing to do with its scent or aesthetic value, and I really hope that women who have sex with women are already openly down with the fact that pussies come in a wide and beautiful array of looks, feels and smells.
But seriously, dudes that are into chicks don’t give a fuck.
Read the rest of the entry here.
The Oatmeal: Sex ed.
in Attitudes, Sex Ed, Humour Etc.
More from The Oatmeal here.
Film: Her.
More info about the movie, which was written and directed by Spike Jonze:
Set in the Los Angeles of the slight future, the story follows Theodore Twombly, a complex, soulful man who makes his living writing touching, personal letters for other people. Heartbroken after the end of a long relationship, he becomes intrigued with a new, advanced operating system, which promises to be an intuitive entity in its own right, individual to each user. Upon initiating it, he is delighted to meet "Samantha," a bright, female voice, who is insightful, sensitive and surprisingly funny. As her needs and desires grow, in tandem with his own, their friendship deepens into an eventual love for each other.
It's been reviewed very favourably. The trailer:
Thursday mail - May 15.
Have any questions or comments? If so, fire away.
First openly gay player drafted to the NFL.
From CBS Sports:
Ready yourself, America, for Michael Sam; because he's ready for you. by Gregg Doyel
This is your dream, America. Or this is your nightmare. Whatever the case, buckle up. Because Michael Sam just got here.
His first few days with St. Louis Rams have been fascinating and thought-provoking and criticism-generating, and the odds are it's going to keep happening. Because in Michael Sam, the NFL doesn't just have its first openly gay player. Its first openly gay player is openly gay.
Not trying to play word games here, but Michael Sam hasn't played an NFL game or attended an NFL practice -- hell, he was drafted just three days ago -- and already he has shown himself to be something much more confrontational, more formidable, for lack of a better word, than Jason Collins. A few months ago Collins became the first openly gay athlete in major U.S. team sports. He's openly gay, but hasn't been openly gay, and his tenure with the Nets has been quiet. If he's kissed anyone, we've not seen it. If he feels like his career path has been slowed, we've not heard it.
We've seen Michael Sam. We've heard him.
We saw him kiss his boyfriend to celebrate being drafted by the Rams. Lots of America loved that. Lots of America recoiled. Had the draftee been AJ McCarron and the kissee been Katherine Webb, lots of America would have shrugged.
But this is different, obviously, and America reacted differently. Don Jones of the Miami Dolphins got himself suspended. Marshall Henderson, formerly of Ole Miss, got himself castigated. Elsewhere, lots of America celebrated. Lots recoiled. All this, because of something Michael Sam did after being a member of the St. Louis Rams for all of 75 seconds.
Gay rights advocates were thrilled the Rams drafted Sam in the seventh round, maybe moreso than Sam, because after he had a few minutes to think about it ... wait a minute, Michael Sam wanted to know. Why did it take so long to get drafted?
Sam never came out and said his sexuality caused him to drop to the end of the seventh round, but he did tick off some of his accomplishments at Missouri and used them to say he should have been drafted much, much earlier.
Read the rest, including responses to his drafting, here.
And the video of the kiss (@ 1:20):
Project: Trans by Dave Naz.
About the project:
Trans is a new photo project by Dave Naz, incorporating photography with supplemental video interviews. The models in this project identify as Transgender Women — as well as hold positions within their communities as activists, professionals, and public figures. Through his appreciation of expression in diverse bodies, Dave aims to use his unique position in Los Angeles’ progressive art scene to raise awareness and tolerance within diverse gender expressions and queer communities.
Part 1:
Part 2:
Part 3:
Thursday mail.
Have any questions or comments? If so, fire away.
Why women watch porn.
in Attitudes, Pornography
According to one woman (opinions may vary):
More PostSecrets.
in Humour Etc.
Many more here.
Your moms' sex lives.
For those of you who don't already know, Canadian Living is pretty much the quintessential Canadian mom magazine. The readership is mostly middle-aged women. Anyway, they conduct a sex survey every year and this year's results are in. I have to admit that I was a bit surprised. From Canadian Living (click to make larger):
Sex work statistics, debunked.
in Sex Work
From The Washington Post:
Lies, Damned Lies And Sex Work Statistics By Maggie McNeill
(Maggie McNeill is a retired call girl. She writes at her blog, The Honest Courtesan.)
Imagine a study of the alcohol industry which interviewed not a single brewer, wine expert, liquor store owner or drinker, but instead relied solely on the statements of ATF agents, dry-county politicians and members of Alcoholics Anonymous and Mothers Against Drunk Driving. Or how about a report on restaurants which treated the opinions of failed hot dog stand operators as the basis for broad statements about every kind of food business from convenience stores to food trucks to McDonald’s to five-star restaurants?
You’d probably surmise that this sort of research would be biased and one-sided to the point of unreliable. And you’d be correct. But change the topic to sex work, and such methods are not only the norm, they’re accepted uncritically by the media and the majority of those who the resulting studies. In fact, many of those who represent themselves as sex work researchers don’t even try to get good data. They simply present their opinions as fact, occasionally bolstered by pseudo-studies designed to produce pre-determined results. Well-known and easily-contacted sex workers are rarely consulted . There’s no peer review. And when sex workers are consulted at all, they’re recruited from jails and substance abuse programs, resulting in a sample skewed heavily toward the desperate, the disadvantaged and the marginalized.
This sort of statistical malpractice has always been typical of prostitution research. But the incentive to produce it has dramatically increased in the past decade, thanks to a media-fueled moral panic over sex trafficking. Sex-work prohibitionists have long seen trafficking and sex slavery as a useful Trojan horse. In its 2010 “national action plan,” for example, the activist group Demand Abolition writes,“Framing the Campaign’s key target as sexual slavery might garner more support and less resistance, while framing the Campaign as combating prostitution may be less likely to mobilize similar levels of support and to stimulate stronger opposition.”
What do women want in porn?
in Attitudes, Pornography
From XOJane:
Do You Really Want Your Porn To Look More Like You? I just want my porn to feature women who are confident, self-aware, and get off. I realize this is a lot to ask. by Julieanne
Get excited, my fellow perverts: The sex industry is finally ready to cater to your every womanly need -- in exchange, of course, for your lush mounds of money.
In a Slate column about vibrators, Amanda Hess reflected on the recent shift away from phallic shapes in the dong industry. She wondered, ultimately, if perhaps a sea change in our nudie films might be next:
If even dildo manufacturers can successfully transcend the severed organ, surely the porn industry can offer women a little bit more than the old standby—a disembodied penis thrusting through scene after scene until it satisfies every male fantasy. What if porn were designed with an eye toward the female aesthetic in the way that Jimmyjane’s toys are? What if Girls did for porn what Sex in the City did for the vibrator, breaking the taboo? And what if women demanded more from the porn they’re already viewing?Doesn't it feel like Don Corleone's wedding day? Go ahead! Do a little twirl and ask for something! The world is your Dutch Oyster.
Of course, Hess isn't suggesting that there's something we all want unilaterally. Certainly, female sexual desire is as varied and as different as the whorls of the fingers with which we gently diddle ourselves.
But it's an intriguing thought: what if "good sex" on screen looked like the good sex we're actually having? (Or, okay, would like to have, under ideal circumstances.) It sounds like an unlikely, especially since asthetics in porn seem to shift glacially at best. Besides, most of us can't get instant free sex toys on on RedTube.
Still -- given your druthers, would you change the standard hung stud/horny teen pump-and-blow? The "I'm a naughty tattooed bisexual with no bodyfat having an aloof fingerblast in a warehouse" of alt porn? Or would you be on board with (I'll say it) the Dunhamification of your spank films?
Would you want it to look more like you?
Well, for those of you who consume porn, that is. I realize that some of you don't, or feel guilty about it, for ethical reasons. But if buying more porn is indeed an emollient for the problems that have historically plagued women in the industry (which is ailing or thriving, depending who you ask), then I guess now's our time to come up with a list of demands. Let us hold a summit, and draw up a Vagna Carta.
Whether or not you want to actually see yourself in your porn, "fem porn" director/producer Erika Lust made an interesting point in the Guardian: It would be nice to be able to relate to it a little more. "To get excited," she mused, "women want to see something that looks like us. We want to see independent women exploring their sexuality, who are not afraid, but are not sex heroines either. We want to see attractive men who share our lifestyles, our ideas."
This is difficult, as I realize we are not all into penises or vaginas or sex at all. So, this is going to take a lot of generalizing. So, you know, if you're not into mainstream porn, I'm not trying to leave you out. But, just like some of us like Hawaiian style or deep dish or hand tossed, most of us can agree that pizza is the greatest.
So for generality's sake, we're going Papa John's here. Let's talk about what we'd like to see in our garden variety, ho-hum, porny porny porno. I'll throw out some of my demands, and you guys can hit me with yours. Sound good? Onward.
Documentary: Hookers on Davie.
in Sex Work
From 1984, this documentary features a variety of sex workers who plied their trade in Vancouver's West End.
Thursday mail - April 3rd.
Have any questions or comments? If so, fire away.
Most Americans still think porn is immoral.
in Attitudes, Pornography
Keep in mind who collected the data. From the Atlantic:
Most People Think Watching Porn Is Morally Wrong In debates about the industry, it's easy to forget that most people think erotica isn't for them. By Emma Green
"All men look at porn .… The handful of men who claim they don’t look at porn are liars or castrates." That's what Dan Savage, a Seattle-based sex columnist, wrote a few years ago in response to a reader who was fretting about her boyfriend's affinity for erotica. By this point, his argument seems like a trope: All red-blooded men have watched porn. It's just part of life. Get used to it.
Whether or not Savage is right about how often people watch porn, they don't seem to be "getting used to it." According to data from the Public Religion Research Institute, only 29 percent of Americans think watching porn is morally acceptable. Somewhat predictably, men and women have very different opinions on the issue: Only 23 percent of women approve, while 35 percent of men think it's okay.
These statistics suggest something wildly different from the Dan Savage view of the sex world. Even if it were true that all men watch porn at some point—which it probably isn't—65 percent of them feel bad about it.
One striking thing about these findings is the incredible variation in how people think about porn on a personal level and how they think about it on a legal level. Overall, 39 percent said they'd oppose legal restrictions on pornography, compared to the 29 percent who consider it morally acceptable. That means roughly ten percent of people disapprove of porn but don't think it should be illegal. The demographic breakdown reveals some unanticipated nuance. A twentysomething and her grandma are just as likely to think access to porn shouldn't be restricted on the Internet (42 percent), but the Millennial is five times as likely to think watching it is morally okay (45 percent versus 9 percent). Democrats and Tea Partiers have similar attitudes about legal restrictions against porn (41 and 40 percent opposed, respectively), and Tea Partiers are much more morally forgiving of erotica than those on the right who just call themselves Republicans: 27 percent versus 19 percent say it's okay. (Earlier this week, I noted a similar divide in the PRRI survey between Americans who support a right to gay marriage while still disapproving of gay sex.)