Slightly NSFW:
Thursday mail - January 24.
Have any questions or comments related to sex or sexuality? If so, fire away.
Condom-themed restaurant.
From Buzzfeed (and reported all over the place previously):
Condom-Themed Restaurant Features All-Condom Wedding Dress
The restaurant's tagline: “Our food is guaranteed not to cause pregnancy.”
Called "Cabbages & Condoms," the Bangkok restaurant was developed in part to raise awareness about safe sex, family planning and HIV/ AIDS in Thailand.
According to the restaurant's website, all proceeds go to support Thailand'sPopulation and Community Development Association. It's a non-governmental organization that promotes family planning and has been active since 1974.
The restaurant is decorated with condoms from around the world and incredibly intricate condom statues.
See a bunch more photos, and the original article, here.
On being a girl.
This came via Dodson and Ross; it originally came from reddit (/r/offmychest). The responses to the original post are very worth the read, too, with many women sharing their varied positive and negative experiences growing up. Click here.
I am not excusing rudeness, but here it is from the perspective of a hot young girl:
You go through your childhood without any sexual overtures being made at you (hopefully). You wear jeans with reinforced knees and hair clips. The only thing anyone expects of your looks is to wipe the ketchup off your face once in a while and maybe bathe sometimes. Life is good.
Then you hit puberty and start to sprout lumps and bumps and you have no idea what to do with any of them, but everyone is noticing and commenting and making you very very aware of them. Your clothes stop fitting, your friends are putting black goop on their eyelashes and that awful fruity lip gloss that tastes like microwaved jelly beans, and worst of all, boys are looking at you. Not just the old "ew, a girl, cooties!" looking. They are looking at your chest and your behind and everything in between. The rude ones will comment and the even ruder ones will get grabby. You feel scared and inexplicably dirty.
As you grow, those boys will get bolder and pushier. And not just boys-- men, years or even decades older than you. They will look you up and down, analyzing your body like you are a shelf in the supermarket. They yell at you from cars and construction sites and sidewalks, leer at you in class, even insult you online (TITS or GTFO anyone?). You may have your first boyfriend. If you're lucky, he won't pressure you into sex before you're ready. If you're lucky, your friends won't find out and call you a slut or a whore or God knows what else.
You keep growing. You learn caution and who to ignore. You may become a little paranoid-- that nice man behind the checkout counter, is he making small talk or flirting? Did he just look at your chest again? You remember the time you were nice to that boy in class who invited you to a party and then tried to reach up your dress. You have the sinking feeling that the way you look makes you public property, diminishing anything else you might have to offer.
And yes, some girls will get rude, or touchy, or jump to conclusions, because they have been through this so many times it has become a wall, a suit of armor, to protect themselves. Even if they have nothing to fear, they don't know you, and fear is one of the first things women are taught to carry with them. It isn't you-- it's what led up to it. Again, I don't excuse it, but do try to understand.
More PostSecrets.
in Humour Etc.
Swordtail characins tempt mates with snack ornament.
in Attraction
From Science Daily:
Male Sex Ornaments Are Fishing Lures, Literally
Talk about a bait-and-switch. Male representatives of the tropical fish known as swordtail characins have flag-like sex ornaments that catch mates just like the bait on a fishing rod would. What's more, a study reported online on July 12 in Current Biology, a Cell Press publication, shows just what any good fly-fisherman would know: Lures work best if they mimic the foods that fish most often eat. For some characins in the study, that means males are waving pretend ants around in hopes of getting a bite.
"This is a natural example of a fishing lure designed to maximize the chance to catch a fish," said Niclas Kolm of Uppsala University. "In this case, it is not just any fish, however -- it is a fish of the opposite sex that the lure is designed to catch."
Read the rest here.
And in humans?
A message from the ladies of Cracked.
in Attitudes, Humour Etc.
NSFW language!
The world of Dr. Michael Salzhauer, plastic surgeon.
A fascinating read from the New Times Miami:
Michael Salzhauer, Miami's Wackiest Plastic Surgeon, Risks Everything for Internet Fame
It's an awkward admission to make in the midst of surgery, but Dr. Michael Salzhauer is speaking to a captive audience. His patient — a ballerina-thin young woman named Joanna Gonzalez — lies unconscious on an operating table beneath giant flood lights. A plastic tube snakes down her throat and pumps oxygen into her tiny lungs. Her face has been smeared with iodine, leaving her looking like an Oompa Loompa.
Besides, Salzhauer's first nose job was more than ten years and 10,000 patients ago. Since then, he's augmented, reduced, reshaped, or rebuilt body parts for famous actors and aspiring models, porn stars and professional athletes' wives. His rhinoplasties, in particular, are so good he has been dubbed Miami's "Dr. Schnoz." Salzhauer wears the moniker like a heavyweight title belt.
[...]
Trading free plastic surgery for publicity might sound sketchy, but it's Salzhauer's specialty. In the past four years, he's racked up more controversies than Lindsay Lohan. When he wrote a children's book about plastic surgery, parents cried foul. When he held a runway show for his patients, critics were aghast. And when he created an iPhone app so people could envisage themselves after a nip or a tuck, critics flipped out.
Then, in February, he reached new heights of flagrancy by commissioning a music video called "Jewcan Sam, a Nose Job Love Song," featuring a Jewish teenager trying to impress a girl by getting nasal surgery. The video went viral, but so did the outrage. The Anti Defamation League accused him of exploiting Jewish stereotypes. The American Society of Plastic Surgeons (ASPS) launched an investigation.
For many, the video made Salzhauer into a pantomimic villain: the flashy, heartless, obscenely wealthy Miami plastic surgeon. Salzhauer hardly tried to counter the image. Instead of backing off, he's doubled down with increasingly outrageous videos, openly pushing for ever younger patients to go under the knife.
But in a city of contradictions, he's a much more complex man than the character portrayed on YouTube. Behind the persona is a deep personal belief that plastic surgery is an answer to teen bullying, a key to adult happiness — even a divine calling. Spend an hour with Dr. Schnoz, and you'll begin to believe in him. Spend a day with him, and you'll be a convert. After a week, your new best friend will be shooting Botox into your forehead.
[...]
The television show is a welcome distraction for Salzhauer, who for the past month has taken a beating in the media for his "Jewcan Sam" stunt. The idea struck Salzhauer at a party. He found himself sitting next to the producer for a group of Jewish punk rockers from New York called the Groggers, who told him that the lead singer was from Hollywood, Florida. The next day, Salzhauer called and asked the band to write a song about nose jobs.
The result is "Jewcan Sam," which manages to insult nearly every race, color, and creed in just over five minutes. Groggers lead singer L.E. Doug Staiman plays a yarmulke-wearing high school geek with a large nose and a crush on the popular girl. When she tells him she dates only guys with "perfect" noses, he gets rhinoplasty. But even after the surgery, she still won't go out with him.
Salzhauer likes to point to the plot twist as a message that people should get cosmetic surgery only for themselves. But then there's the video's final scene, in which the nerd's hot teacher gives him her number. Score one for surgery!
The video is littered with stereotypes, including the casting of a white man in blackface as Oprah. And, originally, it offered a free nose job to whomever made the best video promoting Salzhauer's practice. The doctor called it a parody, but not everyone got the joke.
"It was distasteful and offensive," said Andrew Rosenkranz of the Anti-Defamation League (ADL). "Historically, Jews have been caricatured in a negative way by showing them in cartoons with a hook nose. This video plays into that stereotype."
The ADL wasn't alone in condemning the video. After national media picked up the story, the ASPS announced it was probing whether Salzhauer had violated his pledge to "uphold the dignity and honor of the medical profession." The association threatened to kick him out.
Before Gonzalez's surgery, Salzhauer laughs off the threats. "It was pretty good marketing," he says with a shrug. "I now have people calling from literally all over the world. And CNN called me 'Dr. Schnoz, the nose king of Miami.' That's something."
[...]
My Beautiful Mommy hit bookstores on Mother's Day 2008. In bright illustrations, it tells the story of a young girl whose mother gets a tummy tuck. Dr. Michael — Salzhauer's superhero-like stand-in with broad shoulders and a square chin — also gives the mom a nose job. By the end of the book, when Mommy's bandages come off, she is a veritable cartoon cougar.
Public reaction was fast and furious. Bloggers nationwide accused Salzhauer of selling plastic surgery to little kids and, even worse, sowing inadequacy. "That's an excellent message to send to your daughter," wrote Jezebel's Jessica G. "Isn't she going to think that her nose is inadequate too?"
[...]
Instead of selling surgery to soccer moms who watch reality TV, Salzhauer is targeting teenagers who compulsively watch YouTube on cell phones. Roughly 30 percent of his patients are now under 25. He'd like to triple that number. And he says he routinely operates on kids as young as 15, in part because he believes surgery can help teens avoid years of bullying.
"Public attitude is changing," he says. "Fifty years ago, people thought braces were evil. Nowadays, if you don't fix your kids' teeth, you're considered a monster."
But Goodman points out that teenagers' faces continue to change until they are in their 20s, and that counseling is a much safer option. "This sends a very sad message," Goodman counters. "This is caving in to the very worst of adolescent peer pressure. We used to tell kids to stand up against bullies. This is telling them: 'Give into bullies, and we've got just the surgery for that.'"
Salzhauer dismisses that argument. "Some people languish in life," he says bluntly. "They never reach their full potential because they are unhappy about some part of their body. People always say character is what really counts. Yeah, right. Try telling that to the kid crying into his pillow every night."
Read the rest here - it's long, but is super captivating.
And, of course, the video that set off all the outrage:
Young evangelicals changing perspectives on sexual politics.
From Buzzfeed:
Are Young Evangelicals Sick Of Sexual Politics?“They're not interested in a spirituality that helps them become culture warriors,” says one pastor. “They want to repair the culture.”Ricky, a 21-year-old evangelical Christian college student, isn't necessarily committed to abstinence before marriage: "If two people are in love and are willing to take the next step, I believe God would approve." He respects both sides of the abortion debate, but thinks churches shouldn't have a say in the matter. And he's an enthusiastic supporter of gay marriage; he thinks Christian opposition to it will be "a black eye on our religion for decades."He may be progressive, but Ricky isn't alone. A variety of experts say young evangelicals care less and less about the issues of sexual politics — abstinence, abortion, and same-sex marriage — that their forebears brought to the center of the political conversation. And churches that keep focusing on these issues may risk becoming obsolete.A study released in December by the National Association of Evangelicals found that 44% of unmarried 18-29-year-old evangelicals had been sexually active — but the study defined "evangelical" as someone who attends church at least monthly, believes Jesus Christ is the only path to salvation, and believes the Bible "is accurate in all that it teaches," requirements that may leave out some who still consider themselves part of the group. Another study puts the figure at 80 percent. And a recent poll found that 44% of 18-29-year-old evangelicals favor same-sex marriage, lower than the national figure but much higher than their elders.Jonathan Merritt, author of A Faith of Our Own: Following Jesus Beyond the Culture Wars, sees a shift from an older ideal of virginity — where "you either had it or you didn't" — to a new ethic of purity which acknowledges that lapses may happen. And he sees a bigger change afoot: "The last generation was very focused on personal holiness. This generation also focuses on the outward expressions of the faith."
Read the rest here.
Birth control for men.
Passed along by Kathryn (thanks!).
From Techcitement:
The Best Birth Control In The World Is For Men
If I were going to describe the perfect contraceptive, it would go something like this: no babies, no latex, no daily pill to remember, no hormones to interfere with mood or sex drive, no negative health effects whatsoever, and 100 percent effectiveness. The funny thing is, something like that currently exists.
The procedure called RISUG in India (reversible inhibition of sperm under guidance) takes about 15 minutes with a doctor, is effective after about three days, and lasts for 10 or more years. A doctor applies some local anesthetic, makes a small pinhole in the base of the scrotum, reaches in with a pair of very thin forceps, and pulls out the small white vas deferens tube. Then, the doctor injects the polymer gel (called Vasalgel here in the US), pushes the vas deferens back inside, repeats the process for the other vas deferens, puts a Band-Aid over the small hole, and the man is on his way. If this all sounds incredibly simple and inexpensive, that’s because it is. The chemicals themselves cost less than the syringe used to administer them. But the science of what happens next is the really fascinating part.
The two common chemicals — styrene maleic anhydride and dimethyl sulfoxide — form a polymer that thickens over the next 72 hours, much like a pliable epoxy, but the purpose of these chemicals isn’t to harden and block the vas deferens. Instead, the polymer lines the wall of the vas deferens and allows sperm to flow freely down the middle (this prevents any pressure buildup), and because of the polymer’s pattern of negative/positive polarization, the sperm are torn apart through the polyelectrolytic effect. On a molecular level, it’s what supervillains envision will happen when they stick the good guy between two huge magnets and flip the switch.
With one little injection, this non-toxic jelly will sit there for 10+ years without you having to do anything else to not have babies. Set it and forget it. Oh, and when you do decide you want those babies, it only takes one other injection of water and baking soda to flush out the gel, and within two to three months, you’ve got all your healthy sperm again.
The trouble is, most people don’t even know this exists. And if men only need one super-cheap shot every 10 years or more, that’s not something that gets big pharmaceutical companies all fired up, because they’ll make zero money on it (even if it might have the side benefit of, you know, destroying HIV).
If this sounds awesome for you or your loved one, get the word out. Share this article. Or link. Or this link. Orthis one. Or this one. Sign this petition. Do something! A revolutionary contraceptive like this needs all the support it can get.
UPDATE: A lot of people are asking to be kept in the loop. So here’s the clinical trial/mailing list sign-up from the Parsemus Foundation to get further information about this procedure’s development. And again, please fill out the short non-spam petition to get the procedure funded and keep buzz going.
UPDATE:Could This Male Contraceptive Pill Make a Vas Deferens in the Fight Against HIV?
The University of Toronto Sexual Education Centre holds party at sex club.
From the Toronto Star:
University of Toronto student group hosts “epic sex club adventure”It’s being billed online as an epic student sex club adventure — and in other corners of the web, a student orgy.The University of Toronto Sexual Education Centre (SEC) is kicking off its annual Sexual Awareness Week next Monday at Oasis Aqua Lounge, a downtown club that bills itself as a water-themed adult playground, where swingers are welcome and sex is allowed everywhere but the hot tub.“U of T is holding an orgy, and you’re invited! You just need your student ID” one Reddit userposted in a University of Waterloo forum.“Our executive director made it very clear that this is not an orgy, we’re not funding an orgy,” says external education and outreach co-ordinator Dylan Tower, 22, as he sits inside the sixth-floor office of SEC. “People are allowed to have sex on premise … there is not any type of ‘You should be having sex when you’re here.’ It’s very much, come and enjoy the space, there’s no prodding or pushing in that direction.”The event begins in the daytime, and organizers are asking students to keep their clothes on until 7 p.m., when the “party becomes clothing-optional so you can get naked with all your new friends.”SEC is an affiliated levy group of the University of Toronto Students Union. Undergraduate students pay .25 cents a term for the services, and can opt out if they choose.The group’s mission is to foster a sex-positive attitude in the greater U of T area, by offering information, programming, safer-sex supplies, and peer counselling in a welcoming environment. Their sexual awareness week includes a discussion on sex positivity, an interactive sex toy demonstration and an afternoon of pornography. The first event is the party at Oasis: the organization rented the club and lowered the price to $5 a person. (Admission for couples is normally $80.)Tower said it is a safe and cheaper way to introduce curious students to the sex club scene in Toronto. The group plans to provide a “myriad of safer-sex supplies” so “everyone can be as safe as possible” and volunteers will circulate to “make sure everyone is respectful and having the best experience Oasis has to offer,” he posted online, addressing concerns.[...]When asked whether it was a U of T-sanctioned event, and whether the university had any concerns, a spokesperson responded with an emailed statement: “The University will not attempt to censor, control or interfere with any group on the basis of its philosophy, beliefs, interests or opinions expressed, unless and until these lead to activities which are illegal or which infringe the rights and freedoms.”
Read the entire article, and the raging debate in the comments section, here.
Thursday mail - January 17.
Have any questions or comments related to sex or sexuality? If so, fire away.
The Onion: Victoria's Secret.
For those that don't know already know, The Onion is a satirical news site.
Robot mom sex ed.
in Masturbation
It's clearly intended to be sex-positive and progressive, but holy creepy.
Carlin Ross on vulva.
From Dodson and Ross:
No Hair...No Lips...Just a SlitI subscribe to Playboy magazine because it is the largest sex brand in the world. People are a bit shocked to see it lying on my coffee table. I enjoy the photos of the Playboy parties, the interviews, and the political commentary. The women aren't my type but I do look at the pictorials.I'm not sure if they're trying to compete with internet porn but I noticed that they're showing alot more full on vulva than they used to in past issues. Here's the formula: not one women has pubic hair...not one woman has visible labia. They're sex organ is just a slit and they all look alike. Even their outer lips are tight and barely visible. It's like they took a barbie doll and drew a line down the middle of her crotch and voila it's a vulva. They don't look anything like the vulvas we see in the bodysex groups.Our genital art gallery features submissions of genitals from real people - it's how we combat genital shame. It used to be legal to display images of genitals that didn't include sex acts. Now, all images of genitals are considered "adult". If they're labeled "adult", then we must comply with federal statues - we have to keep a copy of each person's drivers license and a signed release proving that they're over 18.We had to take most of the gallery down. Betty was heart broken. We joined a lawsuit against the government fighting for the right to view real genitals without these images being labeled "adult". Without anonymity, no one submits to the site. The genital art gallery has been Betty's research project for the last 25 years. It may seem trivial but we believe viewing these images is a civil liberty - a fundamental right.Porn genitals have been surgically altered and bleached. The healing is looking at real images of real genitals. Betty and I have traveled the world lecturing etc and I can tell you that the number one issue is genital shame. It doesn't matter what part of the world you're in - Scandanavia, Cuba, America, Africa - everyone thinks there's something wrong with their genitals. Whenever we present Betty's vulva/penis drawings, people are healed. It really is so simple.It's totally ridiculous that we can't just look at vulvas and penises and get over it already. What's the big deal? We all have genitals...we all have sex...why not educate our children to love themselves and their bodies?I came across this video - it includes vulva respresentations in the media (every show from Dr. Phil to the Doctors). A vulva isn't a piece of chicken or a hamburger. And they just can't wait to cut off our inner labia. We have to win this lawsuit:
Plastic Surgery Confidential.
Last year, Vanity Fair published the story of a woman who went undercover to three plastic surgeons to see what they would recommend for her. An excerpt:
Fast-forward to the present. In 2007 alone, Americans spent $13 billion on 11.7 million cosmetic procedures (both surgical and nonsurgical). An ongoing controversy over what qualifies as “cosmetic” makes it difficult to determine the number of treatments that were purely restorative, necessitated by third-degree burns, mastectomies, and other medical issues. But what’s clear is that the overall number of men and women undergoing cosmetic procedures in the U.S. has increased by 457 percent since 1997, when relevant statistical data was first collected. As many as one in 20 people today reportedly suffer from Body Dysmorphic Disorder (B.D.D.), a sort of “imagined ugly” syndrome. While difficult to diagnose, plastic-surgery addiction is often linked to B.D.D. Dr. Barry Eppley, who writes a blog titled “Explore Plastic Surgery,” estimates that one-third of plastic-surgery patients will eventually return to have additional work done.When I began this project, I was relatively certain that I didn’t need plastic surgery. I also suspected that plastic surgeons might tell me otherwise. To test my hypothesis, I went undercover. In the process, I hoped to learn something about what happens inside examination rooms across New York City and, by extension, the United States. Are teenybopper idols and those who emulate them freely choosing plastic surgery? Or is plastic surgery choosing them?
The rest of the article, which makes a great read, can be found here.
And the woman who I imagine holds the world record for plastic surgeries, Ms. Jocelyn Wildenstein:
Nobody knows how many surgeries she's had, but it's likely far more than lots and lots and lots.
More vulva collages.
Many people are unfamiliar with the diversity of vulva, in terms of what they look like. To address this, several sites have popped up that feature photos or collages of many different vulvas. Here are two such collages:
Labiaplasty in Australia.
The seriously twisted effect of ridiculous government policy (NSFW):
Thursday mail - January 10.
Have any questions or comments related to sex or sexuality? If so, fire away.
From one of your peers.
As I'm sure many of you already know, a Facebook page called UBC Compliments sprung up last fall. There are similar pages for colleges and universities across North America (and probably across the pond, too). The idea is simple - anybody can submit anonymous compliments about anything UBC-related. I was alerted about one submission in particular, which is long, but is a must-read. It's an extraordinary story of transformation, and how environment can have a profound effect on one's sense of self:
To my friends, colleagues, and the UBC community - thank you:
Much of my life has been a struggle over accepting my sexual identity, that I am a gay male. This post is more of an retrospect on how much my life has changed since entering UBC, and I'm very thankful for all the people I've met and the community for changing my life around. My life at UBC is a huge contrast from the life I had before.
I am currently in my final year completing a double major. I came to UBC in 2008 in pretty bad shape, I had been struggling with my gay sexual identity since grade 8 when I first realized I was gay. I was always depressed. And it was particularly difficult as I was attending an all-boys private Catholic school in Vancouver. Yes, you can <insert> the gay jokes here of how being in an all-boys school must have been paradise for any gay guy. Not quite exactly.
There was this tense homophobic atmosphere throughout the school. It was a jock-filled, testosterone-fuelled high school. Students were homophobic, teachers were homophobic. Well, for the most part anyway. I recall homosexuality being discussed in class. Well, it wasn't "discussed." My teachers were straight up telling us it was just plain wrong and evil. In one of my classes, my teacher asked us to raise our hands if they thought homosexuality was wrong. Everyone in our class of 30 did, including myself...gotta follow the crowd. A close friend of mine, who had transferred from public school (and is straight), said it was opposite from where he came from: the same question was asked, and every student had no issue with homosexuality.
Please go read the rest here.