Sexual Behaviour

Insult to sex, or golf?

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From Science Daily:

Sex No More Strenuous Than Golf, Expert Says

ScienceDaily (Jan. 23, 2012) — Good news for heart disease and stroke patients: For most patients, it's probably safe to have sex. "For a patient who has sex with a familiar partner in a familiar setting, sexual activity generally is safe and no more strenuous than golf," said Loyola University Health System cardiologist Dr. John Moran.

Moran concurs with a new scientific statement from the American Heart Association, which says that men and women with stable cardiovascular disease and no or minimal symptoms during routine activities can engage in sexual activity.

Loyola stroke specialist Dr. José Biller said that resuming sexual activity and intimacy is important both to patients and to their partners.

"Enhanced communication and post-stroke sexual education are paramount to a healthy, ongoing relationship," Biller said.

What girls and guys think about during sex.

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NSFW language!

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Doggy Toys: (not for sex) http://jennamarblesblog.com/shop Please subscribe to my channel and my vlog channel! I make new videos here every Wednesday and make vlogs during my majestical daily life. JennaMarbles JennaMarblesVlog Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Jenna-Mourey/311917224927 Twitter: https://twitter.com/#!/Jenna_Marbles @Jenna_Marbles @CharlesMarbles @Kermit_thedog Merchandise (dog toys, shirts and more): http://jennamarblesblog.com/shop Blog: http://www.jennamarblesblog.com/ Tumblr: http://jennamarbles.tumblr.com/

Slut shaming.

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This locally-made video has gone viral, culminating with an appearance on Anderson Cooper's show: 

Seven Days Seven Topics - Day Uno (August 20th, 2011) While I am fully aware that this is a bit of an unorthodox topic for a then-thirteen-now-fourteen year old to be talking about, it's an issue close to my heart, as some of my friends have been slut-shamed despite having never had sex.

Freud versus Jung.

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In the new movie A Dangerous Method, by one of my all-time favourite directors David Cronenberg (thanks for passing it along, Eva!): 

Subscribe http://ow.ly/3UVvY | Facebook http://ow.ly/3UVxn | Twitter http://ow.ly/3UVyA Release Date: 10 February 2012 Genre: Drama | Thriller Cast: Viggo Mortensen, Keira Knightley and Michael Fassbender Directors: David Cronenberg Writer: Christopher Hampton, Christopher Hampton Studio: Entertainment One Plot: A look at how the intense relationship between Carl Jung and Sigmund Freud gives birth to psychoanalysis.

The film appears to be getting decent reviews: link.

Fanny Hill.

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As a follow-up to the email and poem sent along by Chantel, showing that the Victorian era may not have been as sexually repressive as I painted it to be, I did a little more digging around and discovered the novel, Memoirs of a Woman of Pleasure (popularly known as Fanny Hill). It is considered the first prose pornography ever published, at least in the English world. The author, John Cleland, wrote Memoirs of a Woman of Pleasure while in debtor's prison. The novel, which was published in two instalments, is a series of explicit letters written by a very young woman (15) to another woman.

Here's an representative excerpt from the book:

...and now, disengag’d from the shirt, I saw, with wonder and surprise, what? not the play-thing of a boy, not the weapon of a man, but a maypole of so enormous a standard, that had proportions been observ’d, it must have belong’d to a young giant. Its prodigious size made me shrink again; yet I could not, without pleasure, behold, and even ventur’d to feel, such a length, such a breadth of animated ivory! perfectly well turn’d and fashion’d, the proud stiffness of which distended its skin, whose smooth polish and velvet softness might vie with that of the most delicate of our sex, and whose exquisite whiteness was not a little set off by a sprout of black curling hair round the root, through the jetty sprigs of which the fair skin shew’d as in a fine evening you may have remark’d the clear light ether through the branchwork of distant trees over-topping the summit of a hill: then the broad and blueish-cast incarnate of the head, and blue serpentines of its veins, altogether compos’d the most striking assemblage of figure and colours in nature. In short, it stood an object of terror and delight.

But what was yet more surprising, the owner of this natural curiosity, through the want of occasions in the strictness of his home-breeding, and the little time he had been in town not having afforded him one, was hitherto an absolute stranger, in practice at least, to the use of all that manhood he was so nobly stock’d with; and it now fell to my lot to stand his first trial of it, if I could resolve to run the risks of its disproportion to that tender part of me, which such an oversiz’d machine was very fit to lay in ruins.

Not what I thought.

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Chantel emailed this after class last week (thanks!):

I didn't want to get too much into it in yesterday's lecture but the 16th- 18th Centuries were more sexually liberated than you think. Besides Henry VIII and his countless affairs (think Anne Boleyn, which lead to the break from the Catholic church), there was The Earl of Rochester and Aphra Behn, who both published poems about impotent men (Rochester's being the more crude of the two). I thought I'd pass them along in case you were interested, Behn's is longer and requires more deciphering but Rochester's is easy to understand and really funny.

The Imperfect Enjoyment By John Wilmot, Earl of Rochester

Naked she lay, clasped in my longing arms, I filled with love, and she all over charms; Both equally inspired with eager fire, Melting through kindness, flaming in desire. With arms, legs, lips close clinging to embrace, [5] She clips me to her breast, and sucks me to her face. Her nimble tongue, Love's lesser lightening, played Within my mouth, and to my thoughts conveyed Swift orders that I should prepare to throw The all-dissolving thunderbolt below. [10] My fluttering soul, sprung with the painted kiss, Hangs hovering o'er her balmy brinks of bliss. But whilst her busy hand would guide that part Which should convey my soul up to her heart, In liquid raptures I dissolve all o'er, [15] Melt into sperm, and spend at every pore. A touch from any part of her had done't: Her hand, her foot, her very look's a cunt.

Smiling, she chides in a kind murmuring noise, And from her body wipes the clammy joys, [20] When, with a thousand kisses wandering o'er My panting bosom, "Is there then no more?" She cries. "All this to love and rapture's due; Must we not pay a debt to pleasure too?"

But I, the most forlorn, lost man alive, [25] To show my wished obedience vainly strive: I sigh, alas! and kiss, but cannot swive. Eager desires confound my first intent, Succeeding shame does more success prevent, And rage at last confirms me impotent. [30] Ev'n her fair hand, which might bid heat return To frozen age, and make cold hermits burn, Applied to my dead cinder, warms no more Than fire to ashes could past flames restore. Trembling, confused, despairing, limber, dry, [35] A wishing, weak, unmoving lump I lie. This dart of love, whose piercing point, oft tried, With virgin blood ten thousand maids have dyed; Which nature still directed with such art That it through every cunt reached every heart — [40] Stiffly resolved, 'twould carelessly invade Woman or man, nor aught its fury stayed: Where'er it pierced, a cunt it found or made — Now languid lies in this unhappy hour, Shrunk up and sapless like a withered flower. [45]

Thou treacherous, base deserter of my flame, False to my passion, fatal to my fame, Through what mistaken magic dost thou prove So true to lewdness, so untrue to love? What oyster-cinder-beggar-common whore [50] Didst thou e'er fail in all thy life before? When vice, disease, and scandal lead the way, With what officious haste dost thou obey! Like a rude, roaring hector in the streets Who scuffles, cuffs, and justles all he meets, [55] But if his king or country claim his aid, The rakehell villain shrinks and hides his head; Ev'n so thy brutal valour is displayed, Breaks every stew, does each small whore invade, But when great Love the onset does command, [60] Base recreant to thy prince, thou dar'st not stand. Worst part of me, and henceforth hated most, Through all the town a common fucking-post, On whom each whore relieves her tingling cunt As hogs do rub themselves on gates and grunt, [65] May'st thou to ravenous chancres be a prey, Or in consuming weepings waste away; May strangury and stone thy days attend; May'st thou ne'er piss, who did refuse to spend When all my joys did on false thee depend. [70]

And may ten thousand abler pricks agree To do the wronged Corinna right for thee.

The Virgin Diaries.

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Thanks Jess for passing this along!

A group of four women from Abbotsford run a blog called Confessions of a 29 Year Old Virgin (link here). From the blog:

We are 4 girls, living the life! A Life full of Passion, Love, Joy, Goodness and Purity! We haven't gotten to this point in our lives without our share of tears and laughter, so we want to tell you about it! Our lives are stories of Redemption and Goodness, Enjoy being brought into our lives by reading our hearts!

The blog caught the attention of TLC, and the four women are now featured in the show The Virgin Diaries. The show follows the stories of several virgins (some of who have supposedly reclaimed their virginity, despite having already had sex), waiting for marriage.

Here's a clip about the show from Ellen DeGeneres:

Miranda Nelson, of the Georgia Straight, had this to say about the posse of Abbotsford virgins:

Abbotsford virginity bloggers neglect to realize selling chastity is selling sex

Danielle Michaud, Amy Schmidt, Lisa Marziali, and Tamara Larson are virgins—and proud of it.

In fact, this quartet of Abbotsford women, who maintain the blog Confessions of a 29 Year Old Virgin, are so proud of being virgins that they've leveraged their chaste confessional into an appearance on a TLC reality show called The Virgin Diaries, in which they will date some dudes, men who are also virgins.

These women, all 29 or 30, have never had sex. Well, not exactly; one's a "born-again virgin", who says she's reclaimed her virginity. (Not sure where she reclaimed it from; is there some virginity coat check I don't know about?)

"We're in a culture filled with sex, where sex sells. And it's sold every day," Lisa Marziali told the National Post. "And we believe it shouldn't be sold."

Guess what, ladies? By selling virginity, you are selling sex. You are selling the idea that a woman's value is completely tied to what she's allowing—or not allowing—between her legs.

"Whether it's delivered through a virginity pledge or by a barely dressed tween pop singer writhing across the television screen, the message is the same: A woman's worth lies in her ability — or her refusal — to be sexual," Jessica Valenti writes in her 2009 book, The Purity Myth: How America's Obsession With Virginity Is Hurting Young Women.

"We're just looking for a guy who has a heart after God, and who is man enough to pursue us," said Marziali, who confessed that she's already nicknamed her future saviour, I mean husband: "The Rock Star".

Read the rest of the not-particularly-supportive article here.

Documentary: The Virgin Daughters.

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This is the documentary that I mentioned in class.

An look at America's purity movement. The purity movement involves girls pledging to remain a virgin until their wedding day. Cutting Edge explores the purity movement in America, where one girl in every six pledges to remain a virgin, or to save her first kiss, until her wedding day.

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Incest prank goes viral.

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From the NY Daily News, and reported all over the place:

During the pep rally, several captains of the school’s sport teams were lined up against a wall in the gymnasium, wearing blindfolds.

They were told they would be kissed by a “special someone,” ABC News reported, not knowing that person would be their parent.

The video shows one woman, presumed to be the mother of the blindfolded boy with whom she’s locking lips, grabbing her son’s hand and placing it in the back pocket of her jeans.

Another student, after an unknowing makeout session with his mother, was asked if he knew who his kissing partner was. All he knew, he said, is that she had “luscious lips.”

While flooded without outside complaints, Wollersheim told the Associated Press that he had received no objections from the school’s athletes or parents.

In fact, he’s gotten some positive feedback, he said.

“I think people need to have more of a sense of humor! Kudos to you for all that you do – as I do not feel as a parent there was anything offensive about the video,” wrote one person in an email, which Wollersheim shared with the news service.

Still, Wollersheim understands the gravity of the concern sparked by the video.

“As principal, I’m responsible for everything that happens in this school,” he said. “This event offended people, and pep fests should have nothing that offends people.”

Read the rest of the article here.

And, of course, the video:

Just watch and see. This is the original video.


Unpleasant surprise.

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From Discover Magazine:

An unusual case of vaginal tumour.

“A young unmarried woman aged 24 years, suffering from cancerophobia, came to the clinic in an acute anxiety state, convinced that she had a malignant growth, having, she stated, only that morning felt a hard lump in the vagina.

She was a well-nourished person and there was no history of loss of weight, menstrual iregularity, or vaginal discharge; nor was there any previous history of gynaecological or other relevant disorder. She did, however, exhibit signs of emotional distress with sweaty palms and tachycardia. Examination.

A large, hard, smooth lump filed the vagina. On removal it was found to be a globular circumscribed object, possessing no capsule, and on section was seen to have a laminated structure (Figure). It was identified as a specimen of “liliaceaeoma” or an Allium cepa.

The encyclopaedia defines the Allium cepa as one of the family Liliaceae. It has been cultivated from ancient times and probably originated in Asia. The edible part is the bulb containing an acrid volatile oil, giving a strong flavour. The allium is a bienial, the common species producing a bulb in the first season and seeds in the second. The example shewn is evidently of the first season. Result.

On being informed that she had no cancer, but rather an onion, the patient shewed no signs of pleasure or of gratitude on being so quickly cured of her complaint and relieved of her anxiety. Instead she exhibited signs of anger, the reason for which was the same as had caused the presence of this unexpected vegetable in such an unusual garden. It appeared that her male consort and herself had indulged very freely in alcohol on the previous evening and that he had departed sometime during the night leaving her in a deep sleep on the bed. The removal of the onion from a bunch of its fellows hanging on the back of the door, and its subsequent insertion, had been his parting gesture of affection.”

The original paper was published in the British Journal of Venereal Diseases back in 1961.

Common Hour: The Promise and Perils of Hook-Up Culture.

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From Sociological Images:

Back in the spring, Lisa gave a talk at Franklin and Marshall College about data about the newness, prevalence, and content of “hook ups” on American campuses. Surprise, today’s college students didn’t invent casual sex and there’s no need for their parents to worry about a “bacchanalian orgy” in one dorm after another.  Concluding that the problem isn’t “too much” sex, she argues that the problem is too much bad sex.

In her own research, Lisa has found that students want sex to be pleasurable, empowering, or meaningful.  But, alas, they seem to have difficulty achieving any one of those things in great measure.  The culprit, she concludes, isn’t hooking up, it’s hook up culture.  When a hook up culture dominates, all other ways of being sexual are repressed, and that leaves many students involuntarily celibate or having sex they don’t really want. The solution: an opening up of sexual options that allow students to truly, genuinely explore their own sexualities safely.

Franklin and Marshall College arranged to have the lecture filmed, but Lisa was too shy to post it on Soc Images. But she sent me the link to the talk, and I have no such misgivings. Unfortunately, the camera was set up at an angle where you can’t see the PowerPoint presentation that went along with the lecture, so you’ll have to look through it separately if you’re interested (slideshowand transcript if you’d rather read).  Lisa’s got other talks too, if you’re interested, and I know she loves giving them.

 

And no, this is not an anti-hook-up lecture - it simply outlines some of the challenges and pitfalls associated with hook-up culture.

 

Lisa Wade is assistant professor of sociology at Occidental College. Recorded March 24, 2011 in Mayser Gymnasium.

Pegging.

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Posted in the comments section for last Thursday mail (thanks!):

From Charles Glickman:

It’s a cliche that before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes, but that’s because there’s a lot of truth to that statement. After all, once you’ve experienced something from another person’s perspective, it’s much easier to imagine what it’s like for them. That’s one reason why I think pegging can go a long way toward improving things. Pegging is the term for when women use dildos and strap-on harnesses with male partners. (Is there a different term when people of other genders use strap-ons with male partners?) And while the main reason people do it is because it’s lots of fun, I think there’s an added benefit that lots of folks don’t know about.

There have been plenty of books written about how male/female couples can improve their relationships by learning to see things from the other person’s perspective. Of course, that’s helpful for couples of all gender combinations and sexual orientations, but the differences in both biology and experience often create barriers for m/f pairs. Pegging is a surprisingly effective way to find out what sex is like for your partner.

For men who have never been on the receiving side of penetration, sex is something that happens outside the body. And when sex is external to your body, it can be easier to do when you have a headache or you’re not quite in the mood. A lot of men discover than when sex is about catching rather than pitching, their mood, their emotions, and their connection to a partner can often have a bigger influence on what they want to do and how it feels.

Read the rest of the article here.

Incest.

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A friend of mine passed along the link to this Reddit thread, started by a man who had a long-standing sexual relationship with his sister that began in their early tens. Of course, there's no way to confirm the veracity of the poster's claim, but if we're to take him at face value, what he has to say is pretty fascinating. Here's the original post:

I'm a 26 year old man who up until recently had an ongoing sexual relationship with my sister. Here's some general information:

  • We were both consenting. She was 13 when it began, I was 12. The relationship was ongoing up until last year when she met her fiance. As far as I know, neither of us were abused in anyway when we were young children. Aside from the relationship, we're both perfectly "normal" functioning members of society.

Ask me almost anything. Please refrain from requesting any kind of identifying information, as I'll just ignore the question.

As expected, many of the comments are very juvenile, but some of questions and responses are super interesting. Read it here (NSFW language!): link.

Baconlube.

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From the geniuses that brought you Bacon Salt, Bacon Croutons, Bacon Lip Balm and Baconaise, now comes Baconlube.

The product description from J&D's:

Before you start giving meat-flavored massages, we have one small admission to make - baconlube began as an elaborate April Fool's prank and was never intended to be a real product. But when the joke ended, the emails kept coming. People harassed us via email, in public and in highly inappropriate ways (thanks for that). The waiting list grew to over 3,000 people. Expectations were built.

So who's responsible for this highly anticipated creation actually coming to life? You are, that's who. You and an intern named Martin actually, who sacrificed and offended his taste buds in the name of science on sample after failed sample before this really did taste like bacon.

We'll make no judgments about why you want this or what you want to do with it, but baconlube is here and it's real for a limited time. Keep It Sizzlin'.

Their homepage can be found here.

Last Night.

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Last Night, which addresses a topic covered in class, comes recommended by Ksenia (thanks!):

This is a nice movie on the topic of emotional versus sexual cheating.

The trailer: 

Last Night centers on a married couple apart for an evening when the husband takes a business trip with a colleague to whom he's attracted. While he's resisting temptation, his wife encounters her past love.

Fisting.

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From an interview with Deborah Addington in Vice Magazine:

A few months ago we featured some photos from a young lady who takes pictures of all the weird things she finds while working at a thrift store. One of the gems she discovered was a book by Deborah Addington, called A Hand In the Bush - The Fine Art of Vaginal Fisting. Needless to say, I was intrigued, so I ordered the book from Amazon the next day. Part of me thought the book was a joke. I imagined it to be some sort of satirical, voyeuristic look at a black belt-level sex move most people don't have the gusto to try for themselves. I couldn't have been more wrong.

A Hand In the Bush is an excruciatingly didactic field manual for anyone who has ever considered getting wrist-deep in a vagina. After reading this book, an arthritic virgin could navigate their hand into a woman with the confidence of a seasoned pilot easing a 747 into its hangar. The book includes graphic illustrations of everything from regular old vaginal fisting to mutual fisting to the mind-boggling double fist (pretend you're applauding, only don't pull your hands apart).

VICE: Your book is called The Fine Art of Vaginal Fisting. Do you really consider fisting vaginas an art form? Deborah Addington: I do. We all have fingers at the end of our hands, but a lot of people don't organically look at their hands and go, "Gee, I could put that in a bodily orifice!" So you're taking something that preexists, reconfiguring it, applying creativity, and producing a spectacular result.

How many and what type of doctors did you consult during your research for this book? I talked to three doctors. I also spoke with a registered nurse practitioner who dealt with a lot of sexuality issues. All but one of them were OBGYNs, and the one who wasn't is a kink-friendly physician out of the BDSM community who specializes in dealing with what a lot of other people might be balked by.

Had any of the doctors tried vaginal fisting? I know two of them did for sure. The other one was a clinician who was dealing with getting all of the anatomical information, and they might not have been into fisting. I'm not sure.

Read the rest of the interview, and lots about fisting, here.

Poor economy could lead to more male infidelity.

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From Science Daily:

Grim economic times could cause men to seek more sexual partners, giving them more chances to reproduce, according to research by Omri Gillath, a social psychology professor at the University of Kansas.

Men are likely to pursue short-term mating strategies when faced with a threatening environment, according to sexual selection theory based on evolutionary psychology.

When made to think about their own death, which mimics conditions of "low survivability," Gillath and his colleagues found that men responded more vigorously to sexual pictures and had increased heart rates when viewing them, compared to when they thought about dental pain.

"We're biologically wired to reproduce, and the environment tells us the best strategy to use to make sure our genes are passed on," said Gillath. "If you think you might die soon, there's a huge advantage for a man to use short-term mating strategies -- to make sure there are a bunch of offspring and hope that some of them survive -- but women can't do the same thing."

"The ultimate sign of low chances of surviving is death," Gillath added. "After threatening them with their own death, we asked them to look at a computer with sexual and nonsexual images, to see if death makes men more interested in sex."

People primed with death triggered a lever faster when they saw sexual images, compared to those primed with dental pain. The two groups exhibited no difference in response times for nonsexual images.

"In low survivability conditions, we think that men would be more apt to pursue sex outside of a monogamous relationship, looking for ways to spread their genes," Gillath said.

Read the rest of the article here.

Religious people more likely to marry young.

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This would seem obvious, given that many religions (and denominations/groups/sects within those religions) forbid sex before marriage.

From the Journal of Social, Evolutionary, and Cultural Psychology (thanks for passing it along, Amy!):

Unbuckling in the Bible Belt: Conservative sexual norms lower age at marriage.

Abstract Sociosexual norms, as well as marital patterns, vary widely across human history and culture. Yet, humans share an evolved psychobiology of sexual motivation that reliably leads to procreation through incentivizing sexual activity. We predicted that in socially monogamous societies with conservative norms for sexual behavior, the interaction of sexual motivation and strong discouragement of non-marital sex would lead to relatively earlier marriages on average, as young adults seek a socially sanctioned way of expressing their sexuality. We examined this hypothesis with United States Census data from the year 2000. We found that cities in the “Bible Belt,” a region characterized by strong evangelical Christian sentiment, had significantly lower mean and median marital ages for both men and women, supporting our prediction. These relationships held when controlling for median household income, median family income, and even the operational sex ratio. We discuss our findings in terms of individuals minimizing discourse discrepancies and cognitive dissonance, to ultimately coincide with regional cultural norms.

Read the paper here.