More PostSecrets.
in Humour Etc.
How unusual are unusual sexual interests and behaviours?
When people think of unusual sexual interests (i.e., kinks, fetishes, etc.), they usually assume that they're uncommon and perhaps even rare.
The corollary to this is that people with unusual sexual interests may feel that they need to keep their sexual interests and desires secret because others will not understand them and will be judgemental. For some people with unusual sexual interests, this can lead to feelings of shame, anxiety, and/or guilt.
In the clinical world, unusual sexual interests are thought of in three ways:
- paraphilic sexual interest - a sexual interest in something that is anomalous (i.e., unusual)
- paraphilia - a persistent and intense sexual interest in something that is anomalous (i.e., unusual)
- paraphilic disorder - a persistent and intense sexual interest in something that is anomalous (i.e., unusual), and that causes the person distress or problems in their lives
A recently published study from Quebec asked people about their experiences with unusual sexual interests and behaviours. While the study is by no means perfect (self-report bias, how well the sample matched the more general public, etc.), it does provide a rough snapshot of how common unusual sexual interests and behaviours may be. Here are the categories of sexual interests explained:
- voyeurism: watching a stranger, who was unaware of your presence, while they were nude, undressing, or engaged in sex
- fetishism: inanimate objects
- exhibitionism: showing your genitals to an unsuspecting stranger
- frotteurism: touching or rubbing oneself against an unsuspecting stranger
- masochism: being made to suffer, or being dominated or humiliated
- sadism: making someone suffer, or dominating, or physically or psychologically humiliating someone
- transvestism: wearing clothes of the opposite sex
- pedophilia: sex with a child aged 13 old or less, when you were an adult
This table shows the main results. The numbers are the percentages of people responding in the affirmative.
Needless to say, interest in and desire for unusual sexual behaviours is not all that unusual. Keep in mind that other studies have reported a range of prevalences, with some reporting lower rates. You can find this study here: link.
Animation of MtF sex reassignment (corrective) surgery.
Passed along by Afrooz (thanks!).
While many people have heard of sex reassignment/corrective surgery (i.e., surgically changing someone's genitals to match their experienced sex), most have no idea of what the surgery involves. It's a tricky process, and one that is constantly being refined to produce more optimal results for the patient in terms of both appearance and functioning.
Surgery typically follows after sex hormone therapy has begun. Sex hormones are required for the person's lifetime. For someone who transitions physiologically from male to female, female sex hormones are necessary as the body does not produce its own, even after surgery (i.e., we're not at a point where ovaries, which are the primary source of female sex hormones, can be transplanted).
The video below depicts the surgical procedure required for transition from male to female. Keep in mind that it was produced in 2009, and there have been major advancements since. Nonetheless, it gives you a good idea of how complicated the procedure can be.
Thursday mail - March 10th.
Have any questions or comments related to sex, sexuality, or class? If so, fire away. You don't need to be a student to jump on in!
Marty Klein with a fresh take on sexuality and pornography.
Dr. Marty Klein, one North America's best know sex therapists, recently published a piece on pornography and sexuality. It's a much more nuanced view than you would normally encounter. He reinforces the idea of personal choice and acceptance. Check it out:
Rule 34: What It Says About Your Sexuality
Rule 34: If it exists, or you can imagine it, there is porn of it. No exceptions.
[...]
Rule 34 reminds us exactly what pornography is: a library of human eroticism. Pornography is a celebration of how humans can stretch their erotic imagination—sometimes in ways that disturb you or me. Nevertheless, pornography celebrates the erotic imagination BEYOND specific content. Like the ability to imagine the future, and the knowledge that we’re going to die, the enormous range of pornography is uniquely human.
Rule 34 also reminds us that people don’t necessarily want to do what they fantasize about. Sex with Kramer, George, & Jerry at the same time? Sex with a dolphin? Sex with someone about to be guillotined for stealing a loaf of bread? Sex with your grandmother at high noon on Times Square? A threesome with Batman & Robin?
[...]
Rule 34 helps us understand that about sexuality. Your porn isn’t right, it’s just your porn. That goes for No Porn, and Gentle Porn, too: it isn’t right, it’s just your way. And that goes for our sexuality in general—our way isn’t the right way, it’s just our way. A good sexual relationship involves people whose respective ways mesh: one person expands their vocabulary, or both do, or one narrows theirs, or both do. As long as people can fit together with dignity and celebration (um, there’s MY values again), it doesn’t matter what they do.
Go read the whole piece here: link.
The French impotence trials.
When it comes to sex, performance anxiety is very common.
In males, it typically plays out in two ways: (1) difficulty getting and/or maintaining erection; and (2) ejaculating too quickly (however that's defined).
In females, performance anxiety tends to be focused on having an orgasm.
Performance anxiety can be a mere annoyance or distraction for some people; for others, it can seriously ruin their sex lives.
In France, back in 16th and 17th centuries, male performance anxiety took on a whole new and scary meaning. Husbands who were accused on being unable to consummate their marriages could be brought before the court to prove their virility.
From the SmartSet:
Standing Un In Court
In the dreaded French impotence trials, performance anxiety took on new meaning.
By Tony Perrottet
Think the Spanish Inquisition was harsh? Just as intimidating to many men were the French impotence courts of the 16th and 17th centuries, when husbands charged with erectile dysfunction were obliged to prove their virility before witnesses.
A husband’s inability to perform was one of the few reasons that the Church would allow a marriage to be annulled, so disgruntled women who could afford the legal costs would regularly charge their husbands with “injurious non-consummation” before ecclesiastical courts.
[…]
The onus was placed on the husband to demonstrate his powers of erection before an expert team of priests, surgeons, and midwives. These learned observers would carefully examine his equipment to reach an opinion on its “elastic tension” and “natural motion,” before demanding “proof of ejaculation.” Many men found that their powers would fade on first examination. “Just looking at you makes me shrivel,” one humiliated husband moaned to his tormentors.
Any man who failed this test had only one recourse to avoid becoming a laughing-stock. He could demand Trial by Congress, wherein he would carry out his conjugal duty before the team of experts as 100 percent proof that he could perform.
Read the rest here: link.
Ode To The Clitoris.
Vice doc: Polyamorous unicorns.
Another post on the theme of not-to-everybody's-taste. But a poignant example of sexual and identity diversity.
From the description:
When a charismatic former alcoholic named Shaft had his life changed by Burning Man, he realized that he actually identifies as a unicorn. No longer able to face the monotony of work and life in the real world, he decided to form a polyamorous and hedonistic movement with other like-minded unicorns.
Donning glittery horns and galloping through London's streets, Shaft's unicorns set about trying to create a free-love utopia.
But as the unicorn revolution begins to clash with the realities of life and love, some of the "glampede" became disillusioned, and Shaft's reasons for starting this whole thing came into question.
Is this the hedonistic, free love revolution we were promised in the 60s? Or is it as fake as the unicorn horns they wear, a desperate and clever ploy by Shaft to escape his own inner loneliness by starting a cult?
Thursday mail - March 3rd.
Have any questions or comments related to sex, sexuality, or class? If so, fire away. You don't need to be a student to jump on in!
Bad Dragon sex toys.
in Sex Toys
Bad Dragon specializes in fantasy-based sex toys, predominantly on the theme of dragons (check out their site and toys here: link).
While these aren't to most people's tastes, the company has been around for a while so clearly there is a demand for these types of products. Additionally, Bad Dragon isn't the only company out there making unusual sex toys. A quick web search will show that the only limitation is imagination.
Some sample toys from Bad Dragon (and an article below):
THE GRYPHON
Many more, including David the Werewolf, Chance the Stallion, and Razor The Doberman, here.
When I originally posted this back in 2011, I received an email from Varka, the founder, designer and CEO. He sent along a write-up about Bad Dragon from Bizarre Mag. Click on the images to make them large enough to read:
Seinfeld: The Contest.
A repost relevant to this week's class. As promised, clips from the Seinfeld masturbation episode. You might be able to find the full episode online somewhere.
For those unfamiliar with the backstory, Larry David and his team (the primary writers for Seinfeld), pitched an episode on masturbation to the executives at NBC. Keep in mind that this was in the 90s. The execs liked the idea but were afraid the word masturbate wouldn't make it past the censors. So they gave Larry David and his team the green light, but only under the condition that they find euphemisms for the word masturbation. Not only did Larry David and his team rise to the challenge, it ended up being an award-winning script, and the episode is likely the most watched in the 21-year history of Seinfeld.
Here's the opening sequence:
A Kramer highlight:
And some fun facts about the episode: link.
Oh Joy Sex Toy by Erika Moen.
Erika Moen is an artist and educator. She is the authour the comic strip Oh Joy Sex Toy. It started out several years ago as a sex-positive, diversity-friendly sex toy review but has expanded into all aspects of sex and sexuality. There is no topic that she's afraid of addressing. The strips are fun, subversive, educational, and visually appealing. You can read more about her here and here. Check out all her comic strips and reviews here. And a sample of her work:
Theatre: The Hooker Monologues.
in Sex Work
I've posted about the Hooker Monologues previously: link. I had the opportunity to see an early version and it's fantastic. The show features 10 women who are all in some way connected to the sex work industry. The show, which revolves around their stories, is raw and powerful and directly challenges many of the stereotypes and myths about sex workers. It's also very entertaining. You can find out more information about the show by visiting its homepage: link.
The show is on from March 9-13 at the Firehall Theatre in Vancouver. Tickets are $20 and can be purchased here: link.
March 2nd seminar: Behind Closed Doors.
in Sex Toys
Educator, dominatrix, advocate, and entrepreneur Velvet Steele is holding a seminar on sex toys and products this Wednesday, March 2nd. It should be highly engaging and lots of fun. Check the flyer below for details. All are welcome!
Most PostSecrets.
in Humour Etc.
Is it possible to be a feminist and like rough sex?
The feminist movement, in its various forms, has fought long and hard against gender power inequality and the oppression of women by men (intentional and unintentional).
When it comes to sex, power is almost always at play. And in the context of consensual sexual experiences, playing with power dynamics can be hot and a fun part of sexual experiences. Rough sex is an extension of power.
For opposite sex couples, it might seem that feminism and male dominance in the bedroom are incompatible. But that's not necessarily the case, as explained in this article.
From Mashable:
Can you be a feminist and like rough sex?
By Yana Tallon-Hicks
Slapping, choking, spitting — if a woman gets off on a little consensual degradation in the bedroom, does that make her less of a feminist?
Many women who demand equal pay by day and harder spanks by night wake up feeling conflicted (and a little bruised) about their two favorite F-words: feminism and fucking.
Almost every version of feminism has been hell-bent on equalizing power structures and fighting gender-based oppression. But those feminists who are also hell-bent on bending over in the bedroom — using those very same power structures to get off — may be faced with questions about whether or not their political walk matches their pillow talk.
“I love being spat on during sex,” says Zoe, a 28-year-old graduate student I’m sipping espressos with. “The nastier the spit, the better. Does that make me a bad feminist? Do I need to burn all of my Audre Lorde books? Give back my Smith College degree?” She tosses aside a lock of hair as she laughs at the ridiculousness of her own rhetorical questions. I wonder how many times she’s caught a loogie.
Of the 1,500+ self-described “kinky” women Jennifer Eve Rehor studied in 2011, the majority were found to have participated in “at least one of the following activities for their own sensual or erotic pleasure: physical humiliation, deprivation, punishment (physical), breath play, obedience/training, verbal abuse/humiliation, other forced activities and service-oriented submission/domestic service.” They did so in the role of the receptive or submissive partner.
Read the rest here, including the ways in which kink, rough sex, and feminism can work in harmony: link.
What Google searches tell us about peoples' sex lives.
Google makes all of its search data publicly available. According to Google, 100 billion searches are done each month. That means a lot of data. And because sex is something that is searched often, there is a treasure trove of sex-related search data for the taking.
This piece in the New York Times by economist Seth Stephens-Davidowitz digs deep into the Google search data to tell us about our anxieties and the states of our relationships. There are a couple of nifty infographics that summarize his findings. The piece is worth a read - it's fun and informative.
From the New York Times:
Searching for Sex
ARE you confused by sex? I certainly am.
One of the many reasons sex is puzzling is that we lack reliable data. People lie to friends, lovers, doctors, surveys and themselves.
Three years ago, when I was a graduate student in economics, I began to write about how new data, particularly Google searches, could give us fresh insights into socially sensitive topics. Since then, many people have asked me to write about sex.
I was wary because I wanted to do more research. Now I’m finally ready to report. Call it everything you always wanted to know about sex, but didn’t have the data to ask.
Let’s start with the basics. How much sex are we having? Traditional surveys are no good at answering this question.
I analyzed data from the General Social Survey, a classic source. Heterosexual men 18 and over say that they average 63 sex acts per year, using a condom in 23 percent of them. This adds up to more than 1.6 billion heterosexual condom uses per year.
And one of the infographics:
Read the rest here: link.
TEDx talk on female genital cutting.
Female genital cutting (FGC), otherwise known as female genital mutilation or female genital circumcision, is the ritual removal of part or all of the vulva. It's practiced in regions of Africa and the Middle East, even though it's illegal in most countries. It tends to be most common in areas of greater gender inequality, where women have no options but to be married. The procedure is required to be eligible for marriage and is considered a rite of passage.
The theory behind FGC is that women will be overcome with desire and will have sex before marriage if their genitals are left intact. FGC is intended to maintain their purity by removing any structures that could bring them sexual pleasure, thus reducing temptation.
FGC is usually done around puberty, and in some places at much younger ages. Usually female village elders will do the procedure, and rarely ever is it performed in sanitary and safe conditions (by western surgical standards).
Gena (thanks!) passed along this TEDx clip of a talk by a woman struggling with her cultural roots as an immigrant growing up in Australia, in relation to her beliefs about FGC. Check it out.
Thursday mail - February 4th.
Have any questions or comments related to sex, sexuality, or class? If so, fire away. You don't need to be a student to jump on in!
Video: Pages of Death (1962)
in Attitudes, Pornography
Pages of Death (1962)
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